Cheese Puffs

Beautiful Laugh, Sad Eyes...

2012-01-21T17:04:00.020-05:00

Every year, I promise to blog more often, which leaves me one post between another post, missing all that has been happening in my life. I am a mom of three, married to a sailor, owner of a spastic dog. I am also an online student, one that has to read an enormous amount to complete my online courses. I try to fit KDrama (Korean Drama) and running where I can, but I am blessed to be able care for my husband and our kids.

Well, I do promise to be updating a bit more often, as this year is now my eleventh year of parenting.

I am having difficult time admitting that I am now the parent of a ten year-old son. As well as a soon-to-be eight year-old daughter, not to mention that my youngest, my baby, he will be turning six this summer.

Which is an awkward lead-in to my next subject: I am having a more difficult time adjusting to my children growing up, to them getting older, to allowing them more freedoms as they grow, and hopefully learn; I am having more difficulty with with all of this, this rather than something other people are telling me I should be having difficulty with. The "H" word given to me on Friday, by my new gynecologist.

The "H" word.

Hysterectomy.

I've had a many difficulties since the birth of our last child, the last bout I had with my uterus ended up with a few fun words, including: unidentifiable uterine fluid, ovarian cysts, and my favorite: endometriosis.

I went on birth control, and it got better.

But, Houston, there is a problem.
I am my bitchiest on Bitch Master, I mean, birth control.

So, when I finished my last pill pack, I decided not to ask for a new prescription. It did not take long to feel crappy. My family practitioner placed me on a course of antibiotic (because of lab results), and sent me for an ultrasound. At the U/S, my female bits showed their unhappiness exhibiting ovarian cysts. From there I was referred to a gynecologist.

I have to say why I love my new gynecologist's office: I had called around for an appointment to a few OB/GYN's here in Montgomery, but I was told as a "new patient" the soonest appointment available for examination would be around or after Valentine's Day. I then asked, in the mean time, what can I do for the pain? Hot compresses and tylenol.

Can you imagine a non-stop cramp that intensifies with movement? Even just walking, or going to the bathroom? A hot compress. Seriously, I know there is cramping, but really, I've had some doozy birthing stories, my finger has been sewn accidently by a sewing machine, not to mention I used to compete in Alaska native games of strength and endurance. When you've almost had your ear pulled off during an ear pull competition, or had bloody knuckles in the seal hop, my pain threshold is kind of high. I even completed my first marathon in October 2011, and made it through the pain. I am not one to complain about pain, I keep thinking, really, tylenol and hot compresses, because "that is what happens during a woman's cycle."

Moving along, when I called the practice I am with now, they told me the same, around Valentine's Day; but after I asked what I could do for pain managment, rather than the standard answer of "hot compresses and tylenol," they shoved me in the next day for an appointment for diagnosis and treatment.

Also, he listened to me. I had asked for a hysterectomy a winter previous, when this all started, but was told by my previous practice, he would not: "You are young, should your husband die, you re-marry, you need to be able to have more childen." He then continued to say he would not take out a perfectly working organ. Needless to say, I did not agree, and luckily we ended up PCS'ing out of state.

So when my new gynecologist told me a hysterectomy would be best, I did not cry, but I did feel relief. He agreed with my history, my fibroids, my crooked (introverted) uterus, and ovarian cysts, and that fun word: endometriosis, that a hysterectomy would be best. So, I agreed with my new doctor, I agreed that a hysterectomy would be the best bet, and now have it scheduled in February, sooner than a bit later.

The surgery nurse asked why I was laughing when making my appointment, she pointed out tissues were behind me, I could cry if I needed to, she told me it was okay to. I laughed some more, I told her I was happy for a solution to my problems, this lead her to tell me I had a beautiful laugh. I said a thank you but explained, with all that has happened, I want to be a nice mom again, to be able to run without pain.

She then told me my eyes looked sad, I repeated to her I was okay with the hysterectomy, but what I was not okay with was my cousin passing away Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. So I cried for my cousin, for her kids, and for the family she left behind. 44 years old, way to young to be leaving this Earth behind...

But I am not sad that I have to have a hysterectomy. For some moms I shared the information with, they were very sad for me. But those that knew my history, they were happy for me. It leaves me questioning if I should be sad, or is it wrong for me to be happy for this hysterectomy?

I am a bit nervous, never had surgery before, besides removal of wisdom teeth.

So, I will be writing here a bit more often as the date comes closer and passes. Some hysterectomy sites I've read prepping for this surgery, they are sad. This is just my personal blog, I am not sure how I will feel as this occurs, so this will be a diary of sorts as it happens. I tend to think about The Vagina Monologues, every time I think of the "H" word, I enjoyed the play and novel, so I hope to make my experience in the same spirit, head-on, and to try not to be afraid.

With this plan now in place, I am not planning a marathon for this year to run, not a 10K, not even a 5K at this point of time. I will have to be extra careful for seven days post-op, and then I will have six more weeks beyond that to even find my feet again.

This (hysterectomy) is easier than realizing my children are growing up. My uterus has worked hard enough, I declare, I have three beautiful children. But I still cannot believe that they (my kids) are growing up. I find myself misty-eyed as I realize I have been cutting my son's hair for ten years. Each year that passes, my daughter's hair grows longer. And I really am having problems that my baby isn't a baby anymore. End of this year, he will progress into first-grade, already!

Pffffffft, a hysterectomy has to be easier than parenting, right?

Southern Bella's way to save and Madame Deals.

2011-04-22T16:27:00.003-04:00

I follow Madame Deals, both on Facebook and @madamedeals on Twitter. I will admit to being a douche, only because I just realized Madame Deals had a twitter feed (don't shoot me Amee, you know I am half-baked.) But it was on the Facebook feed where I learned about Southern Bella and her contest entry for an ipad.

And I ignored it all week. With school, three kids, neurotic dog, and many other issues, the most important being I haven't blogged in over a year. I was going to ignore it.

Then the guilt builds up. A writer who blogged to help vent some frustrations, share a wee bit of happiness, but mostly practice writing. Not blogging.

Crazy schtuff!

So here I am, blogging about this contest that has guilted me into remember how writing was a passion. Just not an end to the means.

Madame Deals is an awesome blog that rolls money saving into all aspects of your life. As it should be.

Southern Bella is just as awesome.

In between the saving you get the parenting, and all the entails. Which is pretty much a momma's whole life. Not just being a momma, but remembering what it is like to be just you, and how to get back to integrating that woman into parenthood, not leaving her behind as previous stage of life.

For more information: RT @jtrophy @waystosave NEW Giveaway Royal Wedding 64 GB iPad 2 with Wi-Fi + 3G #giveaway #win #sweeps http://tinyurl.com/6fjau4u

My, oh my, where does time go?

2010-08-12T11:50:00.002-04:00

My, oh my, where does the time go?

Hadn't realized that the placing of spring into summer has now lead into summer turning into fall...

Well, the big change is now done and completed.

DH has now returned, full-time, to Active Duty- USN.

It meant a few day trips to our new duty station area, finding a rental, losing it, then finding another rental house.
A quick packing, a quick loading, and once again cursing the truck/delivery driver, how else do things get all mixed up,
besides the on somewhat excessive speeds and shuffling of the trailer box.

Yup. We packed it all up. Moved it in a POD. Unloaded it. Only a few casualties. Missing only a box.

Not too bad.

.....

So, here we are.
In an area we have lived before.
Slightly bigger house.
Everyone seems comfy.
Of course we have to get back into new routines.
For husband's work. For my schooling. For the kids' schooling.
New neighborhood walking paths for the dog.

Not to mention a few houses down, the ladies like to save the neighborhood
lost cats. Which drives Luna absolutely bonkers.

....

One survived his reconstruction surgery. Bone was taken from his hip and placed into his mouth to reconstruct his palate.
His nose was worked on, shaved down a bit, and sewn to give it better shape.
We are currently a couple of weeks post-op, but I feel he is doing amazingly well.
He has matured, somehow, over the last couple of weeks, and I hope that it extends into the upcoming school year.

....

Still looking for a church.

....

:D
Also have a date coming up. We are off to see a show in D.C. for our 12th wedding anniversary.

Life is wonderful.
I am thankful.

More changes

2010-05-25T19:20:00.002-04:00

Title sums it up, and you know, really, after today, so very happy to have change :D

Can't get into many details, but yeah, it even surprised me. And no, it isn't a baby :D

However, some parts of life grows weary, and you know, I left highschool far behind, except
for those wonderful siblings I still talk to today, and I am okay with that.

Srsly, older than me, act its.

Thursday

2010-04-09T08:39:00.000-04:00

We spent yesterday morning at the Bronx Zoo while waiting for 1's doctor appointment.

1 was born with a cleft lip and subqcleft palate. The cleft does affect his maxilla and alveola to an extent, but thankfully, when he was born and we found out he had this condition, his palate was closed.

He has had two surgeries surgeries, one to repair his lip when he was 6 months old, and then a scar revision before he entered kindergarten. He's had two surgeries for placement of ear tubes. The plastic surgeon we were waiting to meet was a consult for his mouth, the cleft in his alveolar/maxilla.

It was a beautiful day yesterday, we spent the morning at the Bronx Zoo, mostly at the Children's part. It was a wonderful hands on exhibit we fully didn't get to explore as I made the children break for lunch.

The consult with our Bronx Doc went well, it was very informative. He definitely wants to do the bone graft, and was surprised it wasn't done sooner. He wants to repair the alveolar cleft, making it smooth as possible. And he also wants to work on 1's nose, to shape it a bit to make it appear more uniform.

We are game to do it. What we are waiting for now is our insurance approval to do so. With our military health insurance, it becomes a fine line between functionality versus cosmetic.

I pray that insurance will cover it and we will be able to move forward to do these recommended procedures.

After that, we returned back to the Bronx Zoo.

It was a really enjoyable afternoon. The kids had their first camel ride :) We explored The Jungle, Africa Plains, 3 went a bit wild in the Butterfly Garden. At the Bug Carousel, even 1 said he was having fun.

The day was a beautiful day. Thank you, Lord.

Yay!

2010-04-04T05:37:00.000-04:00

Thank you Lord for the wonderful day you gifted us! The sun was shining, had a wonderful breakfast with the children, an interesting afternoon being reintroduced to playing softball, and had a wonderful evening with the children.

Thank You for the sunshine, the laughter, the memories, and hugs and kisses from my children.

.......

Softball.

That was totally an interesting experience. Getting to know the players and just the game itself again, it was interesting.

I don't have a fear of the ball, yay! But I do have a fear of throwing my back out :(

Past entries, you can note where I have hurt my back, numerous times. Being by myself, to do that to myself, now, it freaked me out a bit at bat.

As with all things, practice is what must be undertaken to improve, and I truly hope as the weeks go by, I do become more comfortable at it.

It was definitely fun!

...night...

2010-04-02T20:15:00.001-04:00

Lord,
I thank You. This week was not without challenge, You have shown me many things this week. I thank You for opening my heart, Your Words have given me comfort.

Lord, I pray for the Davani family. Please keep them in Your love, grant them the courage, strength, and patience they are praying for. Lord, I understand that You choose what is best for us, I pray for Your healing touch reach the Davani family.

Thank You, for the conversations we have had this week, I pray that I remain Your servant and be able to Glorify Your name.

Amen.

...Friday...

2010-04-02T17:41:00.002-04:00

Fail.

There is no other word.

I just spent the last 15 minutes throwing up all the fruit (handful of strawberries and cantaloupe), three pieces of bread, and five shrimp I ate at a Easter Egg Dyeing party. It was hot, I felt tired and a bit dizzy, so I ate it. Am I really so weak, Lord?

I was amongst friends, a majority I found who believed I shouldn't be fasting, one in particular who told me that it would not do anything.

I am heartbroken that I did eat what I did, I have only myself to blame.

As I prepare dinner for the children, I am reflecting upon what I have learned for the day.

I pray for your forgiveness Lord.

...Thursday...

2010-04-01T19:26:00.005-04:00

Wasn't today a gorgeous day?? The sun, the birds, ladybugs, laughing children.

The sun was fantastic!! The warmth along with the light!! I even saw a cross!! It was the shadow from the cross streets signs, but it lifted my spirits nonetheless.

However, today was a difficult day. The children are ansty due to the weather, spring break, and weather <--sure sign my brain is just tired. Repetitive. Can't even say it's because I am calling the children by different names, I do that all the time.

I spent last fall and this winter pretty much deprived on energy and sleep. I don't sleep well by myself, I am accustomed to my husband sleeping in bed with me. As well as I do not sleep a true sleep by myself. I feel as if my ears are on standby, non-stop. As the active "watch" parent, the children are currently on my watch, raising them is a job I do with love and care. Yet, I am by myself, and I am feeling a bit rundown in that aspect. Having very little downtime, that definitely does not contribute to having a rested mother.

Over the last months, there have been a handful of nights where I have slept well. The times my in-laws have visited and stayed over night, my vacation to my parents, and now this week.

I generally fall asleep when I am exhausted, after multiple checks on the children, the dog. I am restless until sleep claims me with my ears wide open.

This week I have been sleeping early, and resting. I do feel tired after I wake, but I find it to be the kind of tired where I now truly realize just how little rest I was giving myself.

It is nice to sleep.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me this week to become a better person, sleep seems so menial, yet otherwise, how could we go through the day, reading your work, seeing your love, letting you work through us? I ask that you surround the Davani family, let them have many true night's rests. Let Soroosh and Rosemary be carried and healed by your love.

Please watch over P.S. Wifey, as she faces her next surgery. I ask you to protect her and guide her medical staff so that they may help her heal. Please, I ask you to send Your love to her and her family.

As they have called off the search for the Cheonan crew, I ask that you send a sign to their families and let them know of Your love.

Thank you, in His name, Amen.

...Wednesday...

2010-03-31T19:05:00.005-04:00

Depression and Gluttony

I think I have been catching up on the sleep I have been missing. Every night since Monday night, the children and I have been asleep by 8:30pm, 9:00 pm at the latest. I haven't been exercising, using the time to read and rest a bit.

It is amazing how much one notices when one has slowed down.

I'd like to think as I am somewhat observant, I love watching and earmarking moments to reflect on when writing. Especially people, they say there are so many characters in the fictional world, some we glimpse from real-world television, but I missed my characters from working out at my local YMCA.

After the birth of my first child, I had post-partum depression. The transition into the mother I am now (now matter what anyone says, post-partum depression changes a person), took some time. After I delivered my daughter, I turned to exercise to lift me up and hopefully just feel really good about myself.

This week, I haven't exercised, and I have missed the older man singing in the weight room at the Y. Getting my exercise makes me happy, it is my outlet to release, is is my 58 minutes for me, away from my children. I kept it to a very light workout, a gentle cycle and a few basic weights.

Yet now, At the end of the day, I feel like a glutton, instead of my one serving of rice, I had a little extra :(
it was a half-cup more, but I feel bad for eating it.

Please pray for the Davani family, let them feel His work, may their doctors hands be guided by Him, and may He keep them safe.

I ask for prayers for the families of Cheonan.
I ask again for more prayers for P.S. Wifey. She is returning to surgery this week, to remove cancerous lymph nodes, please pray for her, her family, and her doctors to be able to do their work.

Thank you Lord, for listening to my prayers this week, showing me what I need to read, listen, and see. I seek Your guidance, ask you further to open my heart, and allow me to find the words I need to express, and the courage to ask for Your help.

...Tuesday...

2010-03-30T20:39:00.004-04:00

My eyes are open to anything about food, have been watching food shows, reading cookbooks, but mostly reading blogs on food.

I just found this blog on school lunches:

http://fedupwithschoollunch.blogspot.com/

For years, since 1 was three years old and in prek, I packed his lunches. it wasn't until Appa was gone often due to predeployment schtuff and this year he is deployed, that I have started buying his lunches. Not often, but more than I should have, just because being by myself, I don't seem to have the 15 minutes to make his lunch.

After reading this blog, I am going back to making his lunches.
I see a similar repeat for his school lunches, and you know, what I send may be different (rice, kkim, egg, chicken) but at least I know it is healthy.

I spoke with 1 about changing back to home lunches, he says he is happy with that. my food tastes better and I always make him something different. I used to bento his lunches, the kid has no problem with going back to it, so I am going to start up again.

Cheonan

2010-03-29T20:03:00.003-04:00

This whole incident, for lack of a better word, is ongoing:
CNN : No signs of life in search of sunken South Korean ship.
http://mw.cnn.com/viewarticle?id=65488

I also ask that their families are remembered in your prayers.

Sailor's paraphrase of the 23rd Psalm

The Lord is my pilot, I shall not drift.
He guides me across the dark waters.
He steers me through deep channels.
He keeps my log.
Yea, though I sail ‘mid the thunders
and tempest of life,
I shall dread no anger, for He is with me;
His love and His care, shelter me.
He prepares a quiet harbor before me.
He anoints the waves with oil
My ship rides calmly.
Surely sunlight and starlight
shall guide me on the voyage I take,
And I will rest in the heaven's port forever.
http://www.appleseeds.org/Sailors_23rd-Psalm.htm

2010-03-29T15:38:00.001-04:00

Isaiah 58:9

...Monday...

2010-03-29T10:28:00.006-04:00

The last time I fasted for a duration, I was 15 years old. (?)

I was involved in a Native Youth prayer group, thinking back on it, kinda new-agey take on how Native Peoples pray.
I am talking about a smudge pot, sweat lodge, and prayers to ancestors and the earth to protect us and guide us. The new-agey bit in part due to the number of caucasians involved, irony being decades of forced assimilation to a reversal of some people looking toward spirits for aid. Still, I fasted for direction, guidance. About whether if I was happy, what happiness was, could I be shown it?

During that summer I turned 16, learned about boarding school, flew from Alaska to Oklahoma, and experienced the two years that shaped me into the person I am today. If I had not met the people I met, from my coaches, to the dorm matrons, fellow students, I am confident in saying I would not be the person I am today.

As an adult, a mother, I am fasting for the same reasons. To lift the Davani Family in prayer, really reinforcing the need for a miracle as only He can provide, praying for acceptance and guidance.

Sunday afternoon, I spoke with J.ssn. Was I mean? I reckon so because he was offended. We talked regarding our relationship. I view him as a younger brother who needs an older sister, who will not offer slack, tease him, etc, etc. As with other friends I welcome, the world is far too big, bold, to down a friend. Especially a friend who Believes. I do have a fondness for J.ssn. He does appear older, one does wonder what caused him to appear older. But at the same time, I find it hard to not treat him as younger, still as a teenager. To me, he still is. Even with the responsibility he places on himself, I still find that he is young.

I think that his view is a beginning tentative friendship, as he said, "It seems we missed some steps." We had missed some steps? We had an argument a few weeks back, to me that cemented our friendship, after all, we are still talking, but I guess not on his end. He isn't comfortable with how I am approaching him in our conversations, but to me he is still so young. I show him affection in the ways my siblings from the 'Side and I do, upfront talk and teasing. After our conversation, he is not comfortable, so I will stop. Both people have to ready for a friendship, or even an acquaintanceship,

It did put me in poor spirit, after all, I know what being uncomfortable is. I felt bad in placing him in that position.

I got dressed for the wedding at church, and then went to pick up my passengers for the wedding drive.
I haven't had the opportunity to LL since January, so I was happy to see her again :D
Her and I talked regarding J.ssn, and I explained my viewpoint. It was nice to talk to her and see her, and she gave me some feedback.

It still leaves me questioning on whether I am too friendly? Too bubbly. Too forward.

The wedding was great!! Congratulations to the happy couple!! I was teased because I turned down galbi tchim (?) for the wedding food. It was fun though.

I started my fast last night, after dinner at the wedding. I turned off my notifications from facebook, logged off my iphone app. Logged off my twitter account. I went to bed shortly after midnight.

http://aa.usno.navy.mil/cgi-bin/aa_rstablew.pl

Is my sunrise and sunset table I am using this week for my observance. Daylight savings is not reflected, so an hour must be added during that time.

According to this my fast will end on 4 April (Easter) at 7:24 pm. I want to invite ya'll to come and break my fast with me that evening, Easter is our time for renewal, a time of thanks, a time of rejoice.

Text me or leave a comment if ya'll are interested. :D

...Saturday

2010-03-29T09:56:00.004-04:00

On Saturday, I felt as if I wasn't going to fast this week.

I generally run into the Core at pickup time, which is the time that I pick my children up from Korean school.
My arrival was early, and I was hoping to have a moment with our pastor, whom I have run into several times at pick up.

I was basking in the sunshine waiting, and then I was texting my friend, as 2 calls her, Piano Girl.

I was sad that I wasn't get to see her, and Ukulele Girl (as the kids call J.L. due her mandolin playing during their praise.)

Also, my resolve toward my fast faltered as they were meeting at the pastors house, which meant I wouldn't get to see P.P.

My in-laws were driving up to visit us. so that I may attend a wedding on Sunday. Generally when they are here, I am here with them, or I take off to watch a movie. But since I had asked for the Sunday wedding, and my in-laws had just arrived, I was pretty sure that I was just staying home, or heading out for dinner.

However, my mother-in-law asked if I was to go anywhere on Saturday. I said a birthday party, maybe, but I was too tired to go. She told me to go ahead and go. So I went, got to see and wish Ukulele Girl "Happy Birthday!!" see Piano girl, Batcave was there, as well as a few others. I even got to hug P.S. Wifey, I had been worried about her as she was recovering from surgery for breast cancer. It was held at the EM former pastor's house, and I was unsure if I should approach him with my request.

A happy home full with happy people, food, laughter. A soothing balm to one's confused soul.

So, I decided to approach P.S., and watched him cook dinner. It was so cold outside, and the grill gave no heat, other than to cook the food. I talked to him, regarding my fast, and I requested that he pray for me. I still laugh, because he answered me, "Right now?" Only because the imagery of it all, prayer for a fasting with the smell of sausages, tongs in his hands, standing in the cold. But I know he could have done it. I told him no, later...

As I was getting ready to leave, he prayed for me, and I knew that I was shown how much G-d was looking after me.

P.S. had asked me to keep aware of ways G-d may be showing Himself to me, and to let him know as well.

Which brings us back to Sunday.

Even though my in-laws were here, I did not schedule service into our day. My father-in-law does not attend service, not in the many years I have come to know him. My mother-in-law is devout, and observant, but she has not attended the EM service since my attendance started at PCNJ last August.

Sunday, both my father-in-law and my mother-in-law attended service with me and my children.

It was a wonderful feeling, and I truly felt that this fast, in my prayers for the Davani family, they were being listened to.

It is Sunday.

2010-03-28T09:58:00.002-04:00

It is Sunday.

When I opened this blog, my aim was use it as a writing excercise, an outlet, and as a record I could access later.

There are a few months where I applied myself, but overall, is has been a very sporadic journey.

This week, I am fasting. Starting tonight. Sun up to sun down, only breaking my fast at night with a bowl of rice. The thought of fasting first came into my head during service a few weekends ago, when the topic with our visiting pastor was on loving G-d more. More than spouse, children, whatever we think to love, to hate it and love G-d first and foremost.

I have been considering the food fellowship coordinator, after all, I reaaally love food. I enjoy a good meal, sharing a good meal, cooking a good meal, talking about a good meal, even taking pictures of a good meal.

Do I say I love G-D more than food? How could I show that? Would I? Am I really crazy for considering the food coodinator? Have three kids and the husband is deployed. Am I really willing to ask others to serve G-d by serving a meal? Willing to cook if someone isn't? Is my cooking up to par? A fasting, to me, is a last Hail Mary, what you offer G-d when you have nothing left to show how much you love Him and how much you need Him. Yet, is abstaining and restricting myself from food a fast? I was confused and unsure.

I am ashamed that I did not have the answers.

But I was praying for answers.

Then, my friend's husband, his journey is worsening. He has a rare type of cancer, Pseudomyxoma Peritonei (PMP). He has been in the hospital for around 16 days, this visit. S has not been eating. His body isn't allowing him to eat, his body's fighting of this cancer isn't allowing his body to absorb nutrients. At his caringbridge site, if you have visited, you can tell he does not have the cushion of fat he can afford to lose.

I am friends with his wife, R. I can hear her voice and her excitement the day she told me she found the man she would marry. She took me shopping for the dress and shoes that I wore when I married my husband.

We lost touch over the years, I changed homes, states, and many email addresses over the years. But we still found each other on facebook.

I found she had visited Baltimore, which was near me, because that is where S & R found the doctor and staff to remove the tumor he had. That journey is on their caringbridge site. Their home is in Arizona, and their current journey does have S in the hospital, for various procedures, while trying to find a working plan that will help battle his cancer, it is a battle they have called for prayers

I have asked on facebook, and on twitter, for thoughts and prayers for the Davani family, there are no unanswered prayers, just prayers that are unasked. But have I truly prayed to G-d? Have I asked enough, gotten others to ask enough? What else can I do?

So, that is why I am fasting, to show G-d that I truly love him and to offer my friend R & S in prayers to Him. I battled over whether this was the way, I am the mother to three beautiful children. Was it fair to them? Then 2, last week told me, since it is just her and I in the morning, we could come back home and sleep more after we take the boys to school.

Was the time right? Do I really ask G-d for a miracle, I'll fast later, I have birthday party, wedding, in-laws, not to mention three kids to still feed, while by myself? Show me Your love, and I will show mine later?

I believe.
I am loved.
He will show His mercy.

I ask for your prayers and support in my fasting, so that I may have an awesome week reading His words, seeing His work around me, and most importantly, seeing His love, His mercy, His work to engulf the Davani family.

I won't be on twitter. Or facebook. I will be here, writing down my week.

2010-03-22T23:54:00.001-04:00

I know I haven't written in ages, but I have been around, mostly busy with the children, whilst Appa is away.

I have been on twitter, and facebook, taking numerous breaks to keep my sanity functioning. Not to mention having the opportunity to talk with other adults. The hardest part of this year, is just being lonely.

Some have mentioned how confusing that is, especially since I have the kids, but to be looked after, cared for, even just to be held while falling asleep, it does get lonely.

I joke that when our family is together, I am going to get a hotel room for myself, have a drink, watch tv, and enjoy a hot meal. A hot meal where I get to sit down and enjoy hot meal for me.

Yet, I cannot wait to cook a meal for C. To watch him enjoy a meal with our entire family. Luna included.

It has been a very long year, but soon, we will be together, and it will be worth it.

2009-11-04T10:16:00.001-05:00

Did I say I loved fall?

I take that back. Fall is not my friend. I am not enjoying fall, not at all, it is too leafy, too damp, I do not like this fall at all.

I am sure I would like it if it was not just I raking leaves. Mowing the lawn. Staying up all night with sick children. Or even if I was not scheduling my day errands around nebulizer treatments. Or better yet, not have double the laundry since the children change clothes when they get home. Especially since the dryer is broken.

I am tired, I am. An hour not to worry about the children, school, or other things I must accomplish during the day.

Yet, the things I need a break from are the blessings I am grateful for.

2009-10-23T20:46:00.001-04:00

Goodness, it is another Friday.

What can one say? Fridays are good, right? Something to look forward to, weekend, spending time with the ones you love. Family, fellowship, joy, smiles, tears, laughter. Fun memories created to help one survive Mondays.

At this point of our year, all the days blend together in a very conscious effort to keep the children entertained, to keep myself entertained, to accomplish the full day, gather enough sleep to schlepp through another day, no harm nor no foul.

Even with the children, the dog, and the most wonderful friends, supportive church, I am lonely. Nothing compares to holding a certain someone's hand, a slight kiss, or even just a look, that make's one's day ever so much brighter.

Even in this "modern age," when we do talk, it is regarding matters that need to be addressed, after all, we are both busy, equal weight of being apart and respective duties. After all, one is always most needed when one is carrying a conversation on the phone. And goodness knows Peanut/aeggi has given us enouht to speak about.

I miss u C, and still am oh-so-ready for when you are home.

Finally Fall.

2009-10-14T09:14:00.011-04:00

I know I am excited that school is in session. It is a blatant attempt to mask my true feelings of "Why the hell can't they fall asleep on time; why aren't they awake yet; what shall we have for breakfast this morning; let me check your homework; do you really need ice cream money; it is too frickin' cold to be out here; the bell rung, why aren't the doors open yet"

School has been in session a bit, only since the second week of September, so far so good, only tardy around 3-4 times, not too bad considering the fun effort of getting three kids ready in the morning to just drop-off one child. Then getting two kids ready to drop off another child at lunch. The mad scrambling of running errands. Those of us moms to more than one completely understand when you are down to one child, it can be like shopping with none. After all, herding cats may be easier than shopping with three hungry children at the market. All during just enough time to find a small feeling of accomplishment before waiting thirty minutes early in the car line just to get a close parking spot at dismissal.

This is all combined with my own search of health nirvana, and attending two nights of class at the local community college.

As some know, Appa has gone off to answer the nation's call for a bit. Understandably, I was really excited for the school year to start, my summertime song of, "C-A-M-P" still pitter-patters amongst my humming, if only because I get to drop off 2/3 kids at the same time for the day! We are busy now, as the kids state, they get to go to school seven days a week, how "unfair." But busy hands make a busy heart so they have things to pass the time until their Appa is home again. Definitely adding miles to the minivan, as always, but well worth the memories.

But back to Fall, I love Fall. The chilly air, crisp apples, and the opportunity to eat pumpkin scones and pumpkin pasties without anyone looking too weird at you, after all, 'tis the season. A cup of hot tea or cider, smores, the smell of burning leaves. And National Novel Writing Month during November. With all that is going on, I was not going to let myself get sucked in, but alas, too late. sucked fully in. I never finish, but I always get a great story residing on my hard drive demanding resolution some day.

What a long week it has been...

2009-07-06T11:26:00.003-04:00

As they say, when it rains, it pours.

Gongju was sick this last week, as in trip to E.R. turns into ambulance ride into admittance into hospital for a blood transfusion and other "goodies." It was scary, and I am still afraid as they aren't quite sure what is wrong with her.

The test that were administered gave us some answers, but leaves us with more questions.

On the morrow we head to pediatric hematologist to hopefully find some answers, and on Wednesday we head back to our pediatrician for a follow-up.

If you know me, I dislike Disney, but next week, I damn well better find some magic.

A week is left....

2009-06-15T22:29:00.003-04:00

A week is left, finally, of the school year. It has been a very long year, with enough obstacles to keep a trained
agility dog more than happy for more than enough years.

But, finally, it is drawing to a close.

Soon, we will be down to half-days to no more school, a few weeks to veg before we leave for a family vacation,
amongst other things the new year will be bringing us.

The kids have grown during the last year, but one can find treasure in the "apparent" wreck,
and we can call them friends.

Without them, this year would definitely been bleaker. Instead, found laughter, joy, and created many memories.

Hardship, yes, as always, laughter makes it easier. Totally appreciate ya'll, though I may not always show it.

Added some books to my librarything

2009-06-07T12:54:00.003-04:00

I added some more books to my library, as seen by my widget. It is all due to this entry over at Rice Daddies, "What's on YOUR bookshelf?'

I added a few of the kids favorite books onto my widget shelf, because I have come to love them along with my children. The amount of child/young adult genre writers is vast, and we do try to sample a few randomnly, as in walking along the book shelf at the library and grabbing without looking. Each cover is a small peep into a grand adventure, sometimes big, sometimes small, but always a good 30 minutes spent reading with the children.

We have a small collection of books in our house, not too little, and we are working on the not too many part. Sure, we like the library, if we check it out more than once or twice, it is sure to become a permanent fixture in the house. The children do like a wide variety, nonfiction, fiction, picture books, cooking, songbooks, books on building, planting. They even end up singing around the house:

Careful, people do stare a bit when you break out in song in public with the children :D

Star Trek Review

2009-05-12T22:47:00.003-04:00

Taken from my FB:

Star Trek:

Goodness, what can I write? If you know me, you understand that I have always enjoyed Star Trek, I mean, what's not to love? There are the possibilities of exploration, unification, the cool uniforms, cool technobabble, not to mention the once weekly adventures of the captain, the crew, and the lady named Enterprise. All available for revisits of the good, the bad, and the ugly on DVD.

I often hear from the Air Force crowd and others how they were inspired by the movie "Top Gun" to become a pilot, to join the military, or better yet, become that pilot in the military flying the really cool planes.

As a child, and now as an adult, after watching Star Trek, I revisit the question of who joined the Navy, or the military, because of Star Trek? After all, the Enterprise is still a lady ship of "a military," with uniforms and protocol, who patrols not only by starlight, but in it.

The movie does not disappoint, and "Temporal Anamoly", "space-time shift", or even "time paradox" are gentle reminders that the crew of the Enterprise will face adventures shields forward on with thrusters on full.

We see familiar uniforms, actors that were casted wonderfully well. The back history we get of our known characters was interesting, and I definitely can see the twinges of how they ended up as we met them initially starting in the 60's (or as I started watching in the 80's). Rodenberry's dream is alive, and I do believe he would have been more than satisfied with the current installation of the movie. There were many younger children being taken by their parent as in introduction, others looking for an action flick to watch because Wolverine was sold out. As with the clapping of the credits rolled, I am pretty sure the crowd was happy with the storyline and our new crew.

The only casting I did have a slight issue with is Cho as Sulu, mostly due to history between Korea and Japan, I could only imagine the slight provoked if it was turned around and a Japanese played a Korean. As this is "acting," I can roll with it. Despite the activity in the forums as Cho is too old to play the part of a younger Sulu, considering that he doesn't look nowhere his age, and played Sulu with one word: "Awesome (loved the fight scene!)", I have no further tribbles, well, quibbles.

Pine I first encountered in Princess Diaries 2, after having seem him in that, I was unsure of his possibility of Kirk. I think he did brilliant, well, the cast all did well. I will admit it was hard for me to imagine the crew younger, not to mention the other casting decisions that were made to round out the crew. Seriously, we have seen the original Star Trek, their movies, the Next Generation and their movies, even seen the two crews intermixed. They all faced somewhat unbeatable dilemmas and made sure the Enterprise was safe, repairable by the crew, or able to thrust home to drydock.

For our modern casting we had: Quinto as Spock, Urban as Bones, Zoe as Uhura, Cho as Sulu, Yelchin playing Chekov, Pegg as Scotty, even Winona Ryder as Amanda Grayson<-- All of them casting that I would never fully imagine as a cast of Star Trek till they performed on screen in a storyline that left me enthralled. (Heroes, Drumline, Princess Diaries 2, Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle, Xena, etc, etc.) It was fun to watch them out of the academy shuttled off to do as was ordered, or rather, how one could have imagined them to be straight out of the academy. Youth mixed with Federation protocol, still green, trained, yet still willing to do as they believe best.

I did wonder as I was sitting down on how they would tell the story to comply with what has already been done, after all, you can only run the hamster wheel so long to where even the hamster is bored. I am pleasantly surprised and happy with what was given.

So, overall, movie was wonderful, a few quips here and there, but thrilled to have watched it. An hour and a half post show I am still smiling, and purchasing tickets for the IMAX show to take Jake and can't wait to see if he will enjoy it as much as I did.

Ready for the warmer weather!

2009-04-24T06:44:00.005-04:00

I suppose that the hardest part of our transition to our current state is that it does get cold and we have cold longer than we are used to! In good 'ol VA, I can remember it snowing once or twice if we were lucky. In D.C. it seemed to snow a little bit more but tended not to last long due to the amount of chemicals applied. Jersey, it loved to snow so much! Not to mention, it seemed to keep around a lot longer than I wanted it to! The best part? It always seemed to snow when Appa was gone! GONE! So who got to shovel? Please trust me when I state that there was no actions contributing toward child labor, but I do kinda wait for the day to yell at J to go and get the driveway cleared!

Now, I am done with being cold! I am! Sure, from up north, but I don't like being cold. At all. I love it when it is warmer. Everyday grilling, have a cold beer, let the kids run wild in the back yard kind of weather. We had a couple of teaser days of warm weather here and there; and this last week was full of cold rain. Good rain, lightening, hail, but it rained the most during a highly-anticipated meteor shower I was going to wake the kids up for. Good rain is still rain though, cold rain. Where's the sunshine?

"Yay!!" For this weekend!

It is forcasted to be a wonderful three-day weekend of utter goodness, today, Saturday, AND Sunday! I am woke up this morning to the most wonderful sight of sunshine shining! Let my dog outside for her morning business and she is out there sitting down watching the birds! I am ready, for wonderful weekend! A weekend my C is actually home! To go biking with the kids, to grill, and maybe go see the Intrepid. Really hoping that the forecast is correct and we get to bust out the sunscreen a bit!

Rainy days.

2009-04-22T17:10:00.003-04:00

I enjoy talking to my momma and her sisters, and hearing about their brothers too. They are good people, and they all know how to find laughter, and today there was a bit of laughter I am sure, as they buried their older brother, J.L.P., age 67.

I had to call them this afternoon, because I haven't heard from my parents. They drove down for the service, and yeah, I was expecting a little bit of trouble,I was, because if you know me, my momma is quiet, but her sisters aren't. And yes, there was enough "schtuff happening" to be drama and bring a little loudness.

It was a hot day, nice service, and everyone on their best behavior. My aunt told me that my Uncle kept them in line. :D

Thinking about them makes me miss them, they are my family and I love them.

Sure, spring? Here? Now?

2009-04-04T14:10:00.005-04:00

I like spring, all the trees start to bud, the bulbs sprout green before releasing petals of rainbowy-goodness.

14 days into the season and I am thoroughly exhausted. My little brother's wife passed away due to a car accident. Some 20 year-old kid "due to unknown reasons" lost control of his vehicle, sideswiped one, then ran head-on into her vehicle. The impact caused hers to flip end-over-end (as I was told), and she died due to the impact. Her passenger was taken to the hospital.

Wear your seat belts kids, I am not sure if it would have made a difference in her circumstances, but as she is no longer with us, and her passenger who wore her seat belt is, it lingers in your mind.

So, I am finishing up some small Easter baskets for the kids, and wonder, how does a person help a child cope with loss of a parent. It is traumatic enough as an adult, but to live with it as a child, heartbreaking.

I was only able to spend a bit of time with my brother's family, we all had good laughs at my eldest brother, enough to bring smiles to my little brother's face.

Plus, took the time to add a new resolution: don't let weddings and funerals be the only time to spend with family.

I don't mind protestors, honest.

2009-03-21T20:07:00.008-04:00

After all, that is a given right for our citizens.

However, on msnbc.com, we have a slideshow and story focusing on the war in Iraq/Afghanistan, since it started 19 March 2003.

Manuel Balce Ceneta / AP
Anti-war protesters carry mock coffins draped in American flags.

What upsets me about the photos are the coffins.
Yes, I know, that's the point.
Yet, the protestors still missed the point.
If there is a flag in that coffin, that means a service member has passed away.
It is never that light, and you will never see just a few carrying the one.

It does highly upset me.

Does this photo also signify that they believe military deaths are light?
That you only need a few to carry just one?
Put a flag on this coffin, it is empty, but it makes our case for protesting the war honorable.
After all, the caskets are empty.

(Did they at least use a flag made in the USA?)

Details count.
All of them.

As a wife married to a man who became a reservist after his active duty time, I do pay attention to
little things. It bothers me to see important things become a trivial protestor prop.

It is more than that.
Need a reminder?

Read the story below:

"For a year, the Rocky Mountain News has followed Maj. Steve Beck as he takes on the most difficult duty of his career: casualty notification. As Beck and his comrades at Buckley Air Force Base keep constant watch over the caskets of the men they never knew, the Marines also comfort the families of the fallen, and choke back tears of their own."

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/special-reports/final-salute/

2006 Pulitzer - Photography

http://cfapp2.rockymountainnews.com/photos/index.cfm?xml=/photos/slideshows/2006pulitzer/2006pulitzer.xml

Don't forget. Don't trivialize it.

Let's get this out in the open...

2008-11-14T14:46:00.002-05:00

*winks*
yes, I know, I understand, so I ask the same of you...

I voted for McCain.

*nods*

I did.

Sure, it got dirty at the end by other McCain supporters (I saw and cringed);
let's not bring up "Speidi."

But I did it.

I voted for McCain.

I already believe anything is possible in America.
I have seen it happen.
My eyes and heart are open.

I did not need to vote for Obama because he is "new."
Or because of his "Hope."

America was built on the backs of Her citizens. Hard workers.
Some of us have forgotten.
Some of us haven't.

But yeah, I voted for McCain.
He understands hardwork.
He knows that is needed to turn this country around.

I did not think America was desperate for "Hope."
The election proved me wrong.

Apparently I am not in the "in."

17 weeks and counting....

2008-09-29T21:04:00.003-04:00

This training list is courtesy of Runner's World, it is their Rookie Training Log...

Hmm...hmmm...hmmm???
"Run in the Valley of the Mastodons"
Diamond Valley Lake Marathon for Habitat for Humanity
Saturday, January 24th, 2009
This is a Rain or Shine Event

RACE START TIMES
Marathon 8:00 a.m. (7 Hour Cut Off)
Half Marathon 9:00 a.m.
5 K 10:00 a.m.

Regarding Spain's recent photos...

2008-08-17T16:48:00.010-04:00

This is a copy of a post I made over at Kimchi Mamas,about a comic,

regarding Spain's recent pictures (the basketball team's slanty
eye pose for a commercial), and how bloggers are reporting another moment captured by the tennis team:

Oh wait! The controversy around Spain thickens!

Spain's Tennis Team does slanty eye too!
Where is the best quality of sports, the sportsmanship?

......

I hit this the same time that b.q. did.

I love the Olympics, with a good chunk of emotion. 12 years ago, I was one of two Native American Youth Ambassadors (1 out of 16 Americans total) chosen to represent the USA at the Olympic International Youth Camp at the 1996 Atlanta games.

"Citius, Altius, Fortius."

"The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph, but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered, but to have fought well."

It is not enough to be stronger, higher, faster, not to just focus on the struggle, but what fires it, one's heart. Part of it, to me is the Olympic spirit, which these pictures of Spain athletes, show clearly lacking.

Good fun? Humor? The comic *possibly* can be interpreted on how far North Korea is as a communist state, and how similiar it is to China.

I hope, that with the games being in China, improvements follow with human rights and quality of life, the waves reaching the shore of North Korea. One can dream.

.....

I did find my son's reaction to Kung Fu Panda funny, during a recent shoot:

Brits do it best?

2008-07-05T21:04:00.003-04:00

As the little puffs been hitting the sack on time and on schedule, I have a bit of free time in the evening to actually mindlessly surf the internet.

I have been getting reacquainted with youtube, and of course, all of the wonderful vids that get put up and saved.

I was looking for a military video I watched once, and 'lo and behold these wonderful music videos made by military personnel came up.

Some were perfectly awful, others perfectly hilarious.
And I have to say, from what I have seen, as good as the US ones are, the Brits seem to do it better.

Here is the Navy Numa Numa:

This is a video the USN tried to get banned "because it shows sailors
inappropriately using safety equipment,"

Sure, I married a former submariner, I almost wish I could say this probably isn't an accurate representation of what happens underway, but hey, I've seen pictures from my husband's cruise:

edited to add "Hey Ya" by USN:

For comparison sakes:

British Army:

Some of the Royal Navy, in a pretty funny vid:

And the best of RAF Marshalling:
(and it was done for a good cause)

And if that doesn't sway you, here they are performing Bohemian Rhapsody:

Where the heck does time go?

2008-07-04T22:11:00.002-04:00

Well...
I suppose I was feeling moderately optimistic when I wrote a few posts ago in March, that I would aim for the a marathon by the end of summer.

Who knew I would end up spending the month of May undergoing a fun series of tests (emergency ultrasound for starters, then a whole slew of other tests to figure out what the hell was going on.)

It was interesting, to say the least, the swelling, let's just mention what the hell was with that swelling anyhoo? Payback is a bitch, I never had swelling during my three pregnancies, this made up for it, I swear. I have a multitude of witnesses. Then my liver functions went way out of whack, as well as my lovely sediment levels, and a few other markers. Lovely NP was like "JRA attack." Sent me home. Meh. Please. Been there, done that, this isn't that.

It is slipped inbetween the cracks of NJ Househunting Rants on my mspace blog.

Here is a post I put there and forgot to put here:
Monday, June 02, 2008

"...it resolved itself..."
Current mood: awake

So, since modern docs stated they couldn't treat me without knowing the problem, well, the spouse took me to a Korean accupuncturist. After all, when your wife swells up 15 lbs, they won't treat her, why not? I don't talk much about seeing the guy, people tend to give you weird looks, but then again, the guy has several degrees in his field, not to mention licensed to practice accupunture and Chinese herbal medicines in several states. (I joked with my husband the first time I saw the guy, "You can buy anything on ebay.")

Nice guy, seen him before, he seems ageless, practically looking the same last time I saw him for post-pregnancy about 5 years ago. After going through his non-invasive appointment (literally taking a pulse, and then taking my blood pressure to make sure it was as low as he felt) he stated his course of treatement to be herbal tea that I would drink twice a day, hot. He felt that my liver was swollen, my blood pressure was too low, so this "hanyak / herbal medicine tea", restricted food diet, and off I was sent from his office. I started this a couple of weeks after I was originally sick (~14 March).

My family believes it worked, mostly because the swelling quickly disappeared, I stopped vomiting, the second time I had my liver tested *previous blog*, those numbers were back to normal. Even though I still looked unwell, along with the abdominal pain, that is why I had the fun CAT scans/function tests. My mother-n-law thought I should've given the medince further time to work other than undergoing all of that, after all, I turned out fine.

My doctor I saw knew I was sick, I looked it, the original tests state that , but yet, I underwent the further testing because they did not know exactly what was causing the issues. I guess I do look better, when I saw him last Tuesday. "The situation resolved itself." He was kinda surprised everything (sediments/liver/pancreatic/swelling/etc) looked great, and he told me to finish my herbal teas, it wasn't hurting, and I "looked well."

My accupuncturist believes my liver is still swollen, so I get to drink the tea another month. I am actually feeling really good now.

Back to training for a marathon....going to hit a 3-mile run this weekend, to see how I feel, then work my distance back up... "

With it now being 4 July, let me say, it was a very hard month getting back into the swing of running. More difficult because of where I left off, and where I am now. I understand it will take time to get there, and usually a road walked before goes by faster because it is familiar. But I am here on my lonely road still feeling a bit tired, and I swear that my sidestitch is my phantom pain of March. But trucking along, slowly. Weekly log ends with me only running 21 miles this week, but hey, soon those numbers will go up, my time might improve with some speed and hill work. I know what the destination is, the mode of transport, I am just still digging through my pockets looking for enough change to get there.

Throwing in our move up north to NJ (yeah, we won't go there today), and everything else that has been happening (save real estate doozie for when it makes me less angry), I am a bit stressed and I am tring not to be. Somewhere in one of those doc's offices, I read it takes forever for you body to calm down after it gets riled up. So I am trying to be "happy." Puppy dogs, kittens, new shoes, new handbag happy.

How to make ajummas upset: rice restriction...

2008-05-02T12:30:00.007-04:00

So, after getting my initial injection (gastro function test), off I went to burn an hour by shopping at my H Mart.

As the doors opened, sure there was a bit larger crowd of women than usual, Korean, Eastern Asian, and me. What was really unusual was that they stayed by the front of the store. Where the rice is. On that rice, a happy new sign hung.

Yeah, you tell an ajumma she can only purchase one bag of rice. We won't get into how the price rose $5 from three days ago. And yeah, you tell them other Eastern Asian women they can only get ONE bag of jasmine rice, regardless of the size.

It was an interesting sight to see this morning, low rice stacks, rice purchasing limits, and upset ajummas. There are lots of things contributing to this, and who says that we couldn't see this coming after all the West Coast superstores (Costco, Sam's Club) also placing a limit on rice purchasing?

Not running my marathon

2008-03-28T14:26:00.001-04:00

Current mood: bummed

Some of ya’ll know I have devoted the last 4-5 months running, training for the C’ville Marathon 19 April.

I was pretty sick the last 2-3 weeks, and finally trekked in to the doctor this week. According to them, and the accupuncturist I saw this morning, they both recommend me NOT to run, my liver is not up to it, and my blood pressure is fluctuating too much as well.

So, I just wanted to say "Thank you," "Aho," "Komapsumnida" to all those that have supported me these last few months. My long run was 18 miles in 3 hours and 30 minutes. As soon as we figure out what the heck is wrong with my liver (fun fun fun:no drugs, no alcohol), I am resetting my goal for the end of this summer for the Virginia Rock n Roll Marathon.

Update ya’ll after my next few appts in the upcoming weeks.

Tired of being sick...

2008-03-19T18:48:00.007-04:00

I have been sick since Saturday night! Saturday night!
My fever finally broke today to a toasty 99.9, so I finally feel comfy enough to eat. But what? Couldn't decide. American chicken noodle soup? Korean Ginseng chicken rice soup? Rice and miyookguk?

Well, today I had a chiropractor's appointment, and you know, my food to help me on my path to wellness came to me in the waiting room, reading you know, those magazines you expect to be from 1980.

Except today's was an issue of Southern Living , March 2008. In it, an article referring to good ol'OKC, and the Vietnamese influence in their Asian District. I have not eaten since Saturday, been living off the stash of frozen pedialyte pops I keep for the kids.

Then this picture just stops me. It is pho! At Pho Hoa!

This made my mouth water and my tummy rumble, in the good "feed me" way...

Nothing like a bowl of pho to help one get over the flu, especially when it brings a bit of Oklahoma with it. Our local pho here in MD is good, but Pho Hoa is just so darn extraordinary. Try it, Pho Hoa, best Vietnamese noodle soup with great Oklahoma hospitality.

Wild onions...

2008-02-20T17:24:00.005-05:00

According to Risa, there is a Wild Onion and Scrambled Egg sale happening in OKC. It is the 23 February at 11:00 am until the food runs out.

I always feel as a completely assimilated urbanite until certain key words pop out at me, and wild onions hold such dear memories of growing up for me.

Wild onions are of the time before I moved to Alaska, I can taste the greeness of the earth just drowning in burnt butter. I grew up partially in NDN housing, west of the train tracks, most of houses were related to my family in one way or another.

Three houses down lived my cousins, one was close to me in age, for many summers we spent playing in the dirt, playing baseball, or watching the boys play football. Dust was often on us, in us, following us as we lived many adventures.

As we got older we used to walk the dirt road in front of our cul-de-sac, laughing, talking, singing crazy songs at the top of our lungs. But sometimes, all we did was pick wild onions.

My cousin would sneak into her house and bring out some of the commodity butter, and a pan, I would start a fire, then we would cook those onions in that butter, and hmmm, there was nothing that tasted better.

Nothing like the springtime and being ten years old, eating wild onions.

Support

2008-02-19T16:29:00.002-05:00

I couldn't figure out the cool function C sent me an invite for, I haven't had much time for blogging in 2008, well, much time for anything...as always, it ties into family, and life, and house, and this is the year that I am definitely tired of anything house related.

We are relocating *once again* further north to NJ I have been told, so literally am very exhausted with four walls, roof, plots, neighborhoods, etc, etc, etc....

*shrugs* but it gets me out of my mother-in-law's house back into my own, so I also feel relieved to "own" my own home...

I wanted to take a moment to play this for Butterfly's Mommy, as I refer to her, as "nabi-ya" was one of the first words I learned:

It's snowing!

2007-12-05T11:11:00.000-05:00

How dare it snow while the husband is on a trip! How dare it!
Who gets to drag the kids around on a sled today? Me...

So sad he gets to miss all the fun!

But I am not sure how much time we will have today after Big J gets home
from school, he has an orthodontic appointment, then we have tae kwon do,
never enough time for fun!

What happened to Oct and Nov??

2007-11-28T13:32:00.001-05:00

If I stop and write it all down, I am sure that some entitlement will awaken, but I woefully fear that I won't have accomplised much.

Oct: still unpacking, still getting adjusted,oh! And baby chickens. Yes, I have totally lost it...I am sure that is where October went...the coming of the chickens, the slaying of the chickens, and the renewal of the chickens.

It all started with an advertisement on Craigslist, someone had silkie chicks for sale.

We live on five acres, I said "Why not?" So I went in on these chicks with my in-laws, even to where my father-in-law built my hen house.

It was great, it was magnificent. Especially for the children. Chickens. Baby Chickens. Twelve of them.

Then, we lost one.

And another.

Caught Luna barking early afternoon. The Coop Door Was Open.

Nine baby chicks were literally flayed open. Heads missing. One whole baby chicken missing. One rooster, two hens (given to me from my husband's aunt) missing.

Never caught the culprit, but we re-inforced the henhouse. My military-trained husband was threatning overnight poaching watching, armed. Then night-time surveillance.

Luna found the rooster and two hens down the street, they made it back to the coop.

I went out the weekend Halloween, came home with twelve more chicks.

We have only lost one since then, I go to register them on Monday.

Now, we wait for them to lay eggs.

...................................

What? November? OoohhoooOOOhhhhh

November, it has been a reawakening of sorts, as I am sluggishly running (6.5 miles thank you very much, 3 miles daily)....

My children have started taking Tae Kwon Do. It kinda translates to "Way of Hand and Foot." All of a sudden, from my youth when I competed, I see myself wanting to transform into one of those soccer moms, vicious, loud, rude, overly-involved of said child competing...

So I sit there, listen quietly, and I do wonder if that is enough to stop me from going over the wall.

Plus, Tae Kwon Do as a sport, is at odds with what my parents showed me, being silent, but going forward...those of you that know me are rolling your eyes for sure as I am the loudest in my family. My children are quiet. They solve things on their own. They get frustrated, they cry a bit, but keep going forward. Silently.

Tae Kwon Do, their Master requires for them to be loud. So far with it all, my children have issues on being loud, and you know, the irony of it all, my children, too quiet? Just the result of their overly-loud mother.

Nike Air Native N7

2007-09-26T00:08:00.001-04:00

I admit, I was partial to Nike when I was in high school, they cut my school a deal for running shoes. I wore them and ran :) maybe not the swiftest, but I passed wind (well, the commodity cheese kind!)

So, I get this email link from my mother :), "Nike Unveils First-of-its-Kind Performance Shoe Designed Specifically for Native Americans" and there is a subnote that reads: "Profits from the Nike Air Native N7 shoe will go to support 'Let Me Play' programs on Native American lands."

And I am torn at "Wow-someone catering to NDNs" and "Wow, just for NDNS"...

Now, the Native American community isn't really courted per se, so for a large company such as Nike to stand up, have this shoe designed especially for our community, part of me wants to say suck up!! The bigger part of me is "Where can I buy them!!"

Okay, I will admit, the cool part is that it is for NDN's :) and that it is a very cool...I haven't worn Nike since high school, I have become more of a Adidas/New Balance girl, but this has completely swayed me to reconsider Nike all over again! Especially since the monies will support athletic progams with tribes...the "freakin' awesome" is burbling up out of me again! The shoe is aimed to fit our feet and get folks moving, and personally, I do wonder who will be the first dancer to get these beaded and at which powwow they will make their appearance at!

Hopefully with this announcement, a little pebble will roll far, Native American Indians are alive and kickin' (yes, you VA cashier, I am talking about you, Native Americans extinct? Fie on you, Fie!), looking stylish, and hopefully fitter enough to pass on knowledge to the next generations...

Now, on how to acquire the Nike Air Native N7 for a test run!

Another Friday!

2007-09-07T14:28:00.000-04:00

It has been awhile, but I have living in the land of kinder! Kindergarten to be exact, and it has been a very rough transition for me!! Not only the getting him up, getting him dressed, getting him fed, getting him to the stop, it is the getting him on the bus and me waving I have difficulties with...

He is only five, I feel he is way too young to be going off like that by himself, but you know, I am not getting used to it, but I think I can :)

Other than that, been keeping busy by unpacking (we *might* acutally get to stay here a bit!), and keeping the other two kids busy.

Sadly, to my husband's wallet, I have been shopping. Because it is available and the kids actually need stuff, they have grown so much during these last few weeks.

Too hot to go out? Go here, Cool Mom's Picks "Back to School Guide."

Very cute!!

eta:

Shout-out to BBC Ashley!!

2007-08-29T22:57:00.000-04:00

I have to give a shout-out to Ashley, regarding her "journey" this last week. YOU SO TOTALLY ROCK!! You do have to read her blog, Ashley's Closet and the entry : Lost the battle but won the war.

If ya'll believe the world of former Disney stars with their "issues" is lucrative, or even that child star/modeling, (Jon Benet and others waiting at the malls) was rough and wrong, Ashley Ashley Ashley showed us the really cruel world of voting.

Now, this isn't the voting of if the ICC will go through your neighborhood, who the next sheriff or school superintendent will be. Not even the voting of who will be the next frick'n president of the United States.

This voting is all about who the cutest baby in a contest to win WALL ART.

Who doesn't love wall art reminiscent of Warhol? Especially if it the subject is your dear sweet loved one(s).

What got me was the blatant "fix" of the above linked cutest baby contest for wall art.

And Ashley Ashley Ashley surely rocked the boat and gave us a wonderful exposé of navigating this dark and cruel world, click on "Photowow - wars." However, sadly, the contest ended early, and Ashley's son didn't win nor did the little baby who Ashley supposedly usurped. (By the way little girl's mommy, you said your spouse just got back from Afghanistan, tell him he rocks for serving his country.)

Seriously,why write fiction? Reality is WAY better!!! BTW, "Weiner gobbler?" WTF indeed!!??!!

"And this hope that keeps me holding on..."

2007-08-28T21:18:00.000-04:00

I was recently sent this Pink youtube link, "Dear Mr. President."

Not bad, but I didn't like it overly much, I don't like Bush, but I take this following song from the below war veteran any day:

Hope by Shaggy feat Prince Mydas

When did it become Wednesday?

2007-08-15T21:36:00.000-04:00

*waves at Carol!!! Thank you :) I am glad I met you too! Makes parenting loads easier!! And yes, you should send her a gift certificate of bon-bons at Target, goodness knows it seems as if she would appreciate them more than spending time with her child!! But then, you know, what do I know, as one sister-in-law told me, if I finished college then I would be able to teach my children English!!*

So, I thought about just updating my blog on Fridays, say a weekday wrap-up, but you know, what good is blogging if you can't take the time to vent or make a commentary when you need to *yes C, big hint, miss your views on parenting, or of being you!*. Writing is cathartic.

We are settled back into a 'burb of D.C. The children are adjusting, I am adjusting, my shi-umma and my shi-appa, all of us are adjusting. It is a bit difficult to give up on having "my own house." After all, soon it will be NINE years of marital bliss for my husband and I, I have been used to nine years of my own ways. Shared housing day three, and I am already blogging about it!

I was going to run the 9-11 Memorial Run in Arlington, but nampyun is gone, so who will watch the kids for that long? Yes, it will take me a long time to run 5k, with my gimpy self, but I will run for beer! I fell down these very long stairs, well, I just missed one step at the bottom, but I was holding aeggi, so I twisted myself to keep from dropping him, so I am just in pain again. We are waiting for insurance to come through, but I am ready to save up cash to go and see an acupunturist/hannisack (sp?)...

Having been pregnant for what feels the last 5.5 years, I have been stated as having gastroparesis, but since I am not pregnant, why the heck is my tummy not happy?

I feel like I have whinging about everything lately, well, for the last year, so I promised myself I would tone it down, how come no one else got that memo?

Stop pestering me!!!

Tell me, how do you make misakaru(sp?) (ground cereal) go down easier? I let myself get talked into it at Super H to help with my digestion, but with just water it ain't working, I have been Mary Poppin-ish all week humming: "Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down in the most delightful way..."

As we roll into August...we aren't ready for Kindergarten!

2007-08-11T21:49:00.000-04:00

My oh my, another parenthood passage, the day your child starts kindergarten. I am so not very ready? Murago? What? After two years of preschool, you aren't ready?

I always thought of preschool as an extended play date with a very knowledgeable enthusiastic teacher(s), which we were blessed to have both years of attendance, and yes J is so totally ready for this next step, I am not however. The idea of letting my baby on the school bus and then not seeing him again until mid afternoon? Frightening!!

Yeah, yeah, I don't have to let him ride the bus, but his bus stops at our driveway! Literally a 3 minute walk that includes dawdling time. So, Appa says he is riding the bus, riding the bus he is!

So, we have gone and purchased school supplies, a backpack, lunchbox, along with the other small necessities. As we were searching, I was saying, "Maybe this isn't a good idea..."

J was more like, "We won't know until after we go..." Then he asked if he could stop if he didn't like it. *Sighs* I then told him that he would love it, he told me that "I know that, you don't know that!"

Gongju is not happy that Oppa is going to school away from her. She thought that this year she would go to preschool with Oppa for a bit...now she is all sad. She is worried she will get lost and be lost because Oppa won't be there to find her.

Aeggi is now above 18 lbs at thirteen months of age. He is still contemplating walking more than three steps, but he really enjoys just standing up and looking around, sometimes he will stand up and clap his hands, his face just full of laughter.

Plus, we are packing. I have been packing slowly for about a month, tossing things left and right, as we are getting ready to relocate back north to a D.C. burb!! Yes, I make kimchi, bulgogi, and galbi, next great adventure isn't culinary, we are moving into a house with my shi-umma and shi-appa. Yes, you are reading that right, my little nuclear family will be living with my in-laws.

Appa is going to work a bit with his mother on her business whilst becoming a self-employed defense contractor. So today we did our major packing, and I am sitting here in my living room surrounded by boxes.

It is interesting, and I am a bit scared, but I am hoping that things will be for the best and we will still be a happy family in the next year :)

Sad day...

2007-07-27T23:39:00.000-04:00

I am sitting here writing whilst attempting to finish off glass number 7 of wine...
One of my friends from high school has lost her mother...

It hits me because this friend I do think of as a sister, and one of the last memories I have of her is when we went to visit another friend many summers ago when said friend's younger brother passed away, so please excuse my typing...

I am swallowed by sad memories, please, anyone, have a baby, get married, be happy.

Lately, I find myself thinking of days long past, and wondering where time and friends have gone. I still think of ya'll and wonder if ya'll are okay...I am doing okay, honest, I have someone who loves me who I love in return, and we have been blessed with three wonderful children. College, haven't finished yet, but I will get there...it is my journey I am thankful for, my destination has never changed.

My friend's mother, I remember her, she was strict in most ways a parent should, yet loved her daughter quite fiercely. Raise a glass for her, her daughter is as beautiful as she was, and her kindness extends just as far...

Willow, I am thinking of you.

And as a postscript, A I am thinking of you too, stupid Air Force, find a great job A and kick ass.

knitting socks for my sanity

2007-07-20T07:21:00.000-04:00

I usually quilt, but since the house is on the market, I have taken up knitting socks. A project fits into a one gallon freezer bag, so little hands can't mess with it, it stays tidy, and highly portable.

We are moving from C'ville area back north to the D.C. burbs...

We HAVE to be out by 1 August, why? My husband has found a renter, they need to be in then....did I mention Book Seven of Harry Potter comes out TODAY? And it is my birthday on Sunday??? That literally gives me one week to pack up this house...

And yes, my husband has quit his job, this Friday will be his last day before he enters the world of self-employment, working with his mother and goodness knows what else...

Luckily, we are moving into a house, but still, really, a week?

Appa promises me we will be there two years, I am writing it now so let this be a written record.

I am off to my first and only Harry Potter Party at Barnes and Noble tonight. It is my last chance, obviously, so I am going. I hope to have fun, meet a few folks, and wait anxiously to get my book! I have to read throughout the night, my father-in-law, shi-Appa, is coming to help Appa-puff with a project...when there is so much work to do, I know shi-Appa won't approve of me slacking to read just a book.

I have been off-line, trying to reduce my exposure to spoilers for the book. I so cannot wait. I am sitting here, knitting a scarf, waiting for the household to awake, it is quiet, it feels a bit weird that the end of this series is coming just as our time in the C'ville area is. Great memories here, but I will always have the books to keep with me.

Order of the Phoenix...

2007-07-12T22:45:00.000-04:00

Well, I finally meandered my way down to the cinema to catch a movie. I do have to say that this fifth installment of the Harry Potter collection was visually stunning, enough even for me, an avid book fan, to forgive the sacrifice of what I thought were good story scenes in lieu of producing a more fluid movie.

And yes, now I am positive that I am proud to name my dog Luna as in Luna Lovegood.

Best couple of hours spent for me that I have had in a very long time. I found myself lost in the telling, I noticed what was missing, and I waited for it to show up. I did, but whilst waiting for it to be added, laughter appeared, the story went on, and I did not missing it... I fear, though some key elements were missing, a bit, but overall, it was a wonderful watching a story come to life.

Tell you though, having read the books, and seen this latest movie, a part of me still thinks Harry will love Hermione more than a friend, just and eensy bit, the very tiny fangirl in me shouts it loud waving pom poms...

The adult in me is more "Who cares!" This tale of this mere ordinary boy who did not end up ordinary, we see the very soul of Harry and his decisions, the ramifications of those decisions, for me, basic human nature is portrayed well, after all, as in this newest movie, we all have a bit of the good and the light inside of us.

Harry Potter has weighed heavily a bit on my mind today, after all, the movie, the last book, and a parenting forum asking today if Harry Potter anyone never read Harry Potter.

I always tell folks who ask is it worth the time: "She started out poorer than a church mouse caring for her young and is now richer than the Queen. She has literally caused a line of discussion between parents and their children, children amongst their peers, and internationally caused folks to write essays on the actions of a mere teenage boy. Why wouldn't you read it?"

That was what sucked me in, there are very few books out there that cause parents with their children to read together, or even cause families to purchase more than one copy so that it can be read concurrently. Plus, I saw the display on the DC metro when I was pregnant with my first child.

I spent a lot of time on that metro, heading into D.C. to lunch with my husband, carrying this baby inside of me, wishing that the sway of the metro car would finally send me into labor so I could end the feeling of when I would meet our child. I took many rides into D.C. that winter, book after book kept me company but none really stayed with me.

One particular morning, while waiting for my husband, I was wandering underground, I saw the book remembered reading articles about it, hearing about it from others at Bethesda Naval Hospital. I wondered if it would be fit for "my child." If anything, I neede something new to keep me company on my ride. So I picked it up, purchased it, and promptly finished it that afternoon.

I made the spouse read it that night.

After all, we all need a little magic in our lives. Harry, his friends, they brought a little into mine. Even on a plane, at the park, carrying one of the Potter novels with me, I am always bound to have a dicussion with someone on how it will all end, if Snape is good or evil, the amount of humanity in the novels make it easy to feel empathy for our mere ordinary boy who isn't ordinary at all. We do pull for a hero, even though the heroes usually die, we wish that they don't end up dead. Then we are reminded through the story itself, the dead don't remain dead if they are never forgotten.

After all Harry has been through, if anyone deserves a happy ending, it is him.
8 more days to find out, hmm? Rather, hem hem.

Not for the faint, but we gotta find them!

2007-07-10T16:52:00.000-04:00

This is NOT for the faint of heart,
but as we know in ethernet land,
everyone knows someone who knows someone...

Please pass this on, help find who these folks are!!!

If you click the title below, it will take you to see the video, it is graphic, please let's find these idiots!!

Mother gives Ecstacy to child
An online video that allegedly shows teens teasing a toddler for using the drug Ecstasy while sitting on the floorboard of a moving vehicle is being investigated by local authorities hoping to find out who is responsible.

In the video, which originally appeared on YouTube before it was removed, a second child, an infant, also is seen being handed from one person to another in the back seat of the car.

Various clues in the video ; a map and a Houston radio station broadcast ; have gotten the sheriffs' departments in Harris and Jackson counties involved in the investigation. FBI spokeswoman Shauna Dunlap said her agency also is looking into the matter.

UPDATE:
By the time I sit down to post this on out, here is an UPDATE:

HOSUTON -- The Harris County Sheriff's Department Cyber Crimes Unit told FOX 26 News Tuesday afternoon they have located all of the people riding inside of a van in which a toddler was reported to have taken ecstasy.
Harris County Lt. John Martin said investigators are currently questioning the teens -- all from the Houston area -- who were seen in the video about what happened that day.

One of the teens told investigators they were driving back from South Padre Island and shot the video because they were bored. The teen said the little girl is impressionable and that does whatever she is asked to do. She insisted that none of the teens in the van gave the child ecstacy or any other drugs.

Now that the teens have been located, officials with Child Protective Services will now investigate the child's welfare

It's only day one!

2007-07-02T15:35:00.003-04:00

We pulled J-puff from preschool, for a myriad of reasons from possible impending surgery, some of his friends have left to the summer, but for the most basic, so he can enjoy his first summer vacation.

I should be able to handle this, right?

NO!!

Gongju is WAY used to me being there just for her, and Aeggi, she knows we take care of him together. J-puff, well, first half of the morning he spent crying because his friends were at school, and he wasn't. The other half of the morning he spent beating the stuffing out of his sister. Plus, she didn't want to share me, which caused more fighting.

Aeggi, Aeggi, Aeggi. Poor baby, was caught up in the midst of it all. So he decided to do a very smart thing, nap for most of the morning to get away from it all.

Now this afternoon, which is like normal scheduling, they are playing together happily and cheerfully, Gongju even got up from her nap, seeing Oppa, said, "I love you Oppa, let's play!"

Lord give me strength tomorrow morning!

Don't have to worry overly much about Wednesday, Appa will be home!

Not sure what exactly we are doing for the 4th yet, if anything at all, but I hope everyone will stay safe yet have loads of fun!

Time warp: R.I.S.

2007-06-26T16:31:00.000-04:00

I was dragged into myspace, goodness, almost two years ago when I came back stateside after living a winter in Seoul S.Korea. EuphieGrrl :) (as she now has been christend) started my account for me, and you know, "Thanks."

It has been quite interesting the last couple of years, myspace, I haven't kept up with the folks I used to know in high school, it was a completely different time, truly, yet finding these ol'classmates of mine from school, it truly does make me feel like I am 16, or 17 years old all over again.

I attended a boarding school for my junior and senior year of highschool. That truly isn't pretentious as it sounds, but it is part of a treaty that the Feds have in place in return for land...the further education of NDNS...

It is where I grew up, and I do have a lot of respect for the teachers that are there, I truly do, it ain't easy to be there, we came from all walks of life, all cities, and from a truly diverse group of tribes. Not to mention trying to balance drugs, urbanization, education, with our heritages. I appreciate it now. I am not so sure that I did then.

I will say that it was hard leaving, after all, these were my brothers and sisters for two years, but it was the passing of a dear friend, of someone I was quite fond of, a boy who drank too much and drove way too fast, the day after our graduation. I can still hear Grimace on the phone telling me what happened and how very sorry he was to have to tell me. And I never looked back. It was too hard for me then, too hard to move on.

I occasionally hear from them, of them, and it wasn't until myspace that I realized that we have grown, had families, but most importantly, they lived their lives.

It makes me feel less guilty, a little bit, that I lived my life without them, I missed them, I did and I still do, after all, unless you were living it then with us, you weren't there. No words can convey the bubble our school was in, but it was our bubble.

The crow always flew high over the field where the boys sang '49 songs and us girls sat on the bleachers...

Guilty pleasure

2007-06-25T20:18:00.000-04:00

Haha....I am sitting here and watching last weeks re-cap of "Age of Love."
It is that show on NBC that Australian tennis player who is tested by older women, and his reactions again are just cracking up! I feel for him because he didn't know exactly what he was getting into, but that blonde!

Plus, for some reason, to see the younger girls in bikinis while hula hooping, and the 40's then sitting there with embroidery or reading, yup, I am pulling for the elder ladies.

It is a guilty pleasure to sit here after the children are tucked into bed and watch this poor gent get faced with this varied posse of girls. I don't have much time to sit and watch tv, it is my preference to be in bed by nine pm at the latest, yet this along with Bravo's Top Chef, and NBC's ER, I do get thoroughly entertained when I want to..

Harry Potter, where are you?

2007-06-20T15:24:00.000-04:00

I started with the Philosopher's Stone way back in 2001, when I was pregnant with my first child, I used to take the metro from our home to the Pentagon to have lunch with my husband, and at the time, I thought that it would be a quick read, and I would move on...

Move on, indeed, onto Chamber of Secrets, Prisoner of Azkaban, Goblet of Fire, Order of the Phoenix, and Half-Blood Prince.

I am sitting here, wondering, am I too old to head out to Barnes and Noble on the 20th to get the final installment? My hands are crotchety, and I have not been able to knit, quilt, or even get some weeding done in the front yard...last week I swore I would go in and get looked at, but I haven't been sleeping well at night lately, my body is just achy. I am not sure if it is the weather, a summer cold, or if it is something more.

I do envy mothers that are able to play with their children without fear of "if I bend over will I be able to get back up again?" Or not being able to keep up with my children because my knees and back hurt so...I periodically go through a period of popping motrin and the likes, then stopping, then starting again, but I haven't had time to go and see my doctor, but I think tomorrow morning, I will. I just hurt too much today. Really. I haven't hurt this bad in a very long time, so I am curious to what he will recommend. If anything at all.

I am leery of medicine. After all I have been popping various pain pills of sorts on and off for about 14 years. The only times I remember not feeling that bad was when I first married (at 20), and the years I was pregnant...

Appa-puff jokes that the warranty on me expired long ago, and it has, I just wish to be able to sit on the floor and read my children a story, be able to get back up, and then run around a bit if they would like to.

I often wish to be able to have potions, a magic wand to be able to be a bit more nimble with the children. If Harry is too busy, I would even settle for Molly.

Thursday? Where the hell is the weekend....

2007-06-14T17:06:00.000-04:00

Yes, I am a mother. Of three kids. Oh, we have a brand new puppy too!

What is getting to me currently is trying to adjust to my husband's new schedule. His trips have slowed down a bit, so he is home more, it is just that where he works, they have implented (on a volunteer basis, and Appa-puff agreed to it) where they would work like 8-6 one week for five days, and 8-6 for four days, basically to where he would have a three-day weekend every other week...manna from heaven, I think not!!

Usually by 4:30 pm, I am begging, pleading, "Where are you?" "What time will you be home?" "Dinner, whatever you want, just walk in the door the next five minutes!!!"

I love our children, we have been blessed with truly wonderful children. They listen for the most part, they are so considerate of each other, and both J-puff and Gongju-puff look out for Aeggi-puff...but by the time 4 o'clock rolls around, I reach my limit, it is complete sensory overload!!! Where is nampyun? OooOOOooooOOO???

Yaboo??? YABOO!!! Where are you??? The kids are going crazy!!

Well, really, they aren't, they entertain themselves and each other quite well, but yes, I do have a limit!!!

Thankfully Appa-puff pulls his weight outside the home, and inside too! I am off duty when he gets home... he helps them eat, he plays with them, helps them wash before bed, reads to them, and finally tucks them in...then he cleans my kitchen.

Spoiled, nee?? Don't forget though, he was gone basically the entire month of February, been home literally like 4-5 weekends since the beginning of October...one of those weekends we spent with my parents, another weekend was HIS sister's wedding...

Hey, it will be a number nine on our anniversary this fall, somethings gotta be working, right?

........................

On a side note, have ya'll seen this:

SKorea tycoon seeks husband for 'old, short' daughter

I don't know what to make of it...love or money indeed...

Project Implicit

2007-06-06T23:17:00.000-04:00

Project Implicit

http://www.implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/index.html

"It is well known that people don't always 'speak their minds', and it is suspected that people don't always 'know their minds'. Understanding such divergences is important to scientific psychology.

This web site presents a method that demonstrates the conscious-unconscious divergences much more convincingly than has been possible with previous methods. This new method is called the Implicit Association Test, or IAT for short.

Due to heavy traffic, the site is offering one simple IAT demonstration measuring associations with White and African Americans. Please return later today to get access to the full site.

Important disclaimer: In reporting to you results of any IAT test that you take, we will mention possible interpretations that have a basis in research done (at the University of Washington, University of Virginia, Harvard University, and Yale University) with these tests. However, these Universities, as well as the individual researchers who have contributed to this site, make no claim for the validity of these suggested interpretations. If you are unprepared to encounter interpretations that you might find objectionable, please do not proceed further.

I am aware of the possibility of encountering interpretations of my IAT test performance with which I may not agree.
Knowing this, I wish to proceed."

What does the test say about you?

...and here's LUNA!

2007-06-02T06:23:00.000-04:00

Yeah, yeah, I know....

A puppy? With three children?

But just look at that face!

Luna is our 12 week old Jack Russell Terrier Mix,
we think her father was a dachsund, she has the dachsund face
but terrier body, as I say freaky...

She looks like her mother (kinda terrier), with the exception of her face...
It is as if she got bleached from the neck down, or Luna was the recepient of a total head transplant, but you know, her name totally suits her (yes, I am Harry Potter fan too :)

Tiny girl weighs about 4-5 lbs, just took her out for her bathroom break.

The kids love her so far, will have to see how she adjusts.
The shelter, good work that they do, however spayed her, her siblings and their mother today. One of them passed away during surgery, seized one vet says, the other says her heart stopped after the procedure, at least, I think that is what the foster owner was saying....she was too upset and crying for she went to pick up them as I went to pick up Luna... will have more info when she gives me a call...

Freaky thing though, her bark isn't barky, it is more of a cawing crow...totally freaked us out this morning!

ETA: I think now, after surfing a bit, she looks more to be a smooth fox terrier, yes?? She is currently napping on my lap, but overall, she seems to be doing quite well!

Haircuts, not a repeater, honest!

2007-05-29T14:33:00.000-04:00

Took Big J back in to see Dr. G last week to get his sutures removed....
Dr. G showed him that scissors don't hurt sometimes, "see, you can cut hair..."

Well, Big J has forgotten the anguish of getting his sutures to removed (talk about screaming)
BUT he has not forgotten that scissors can cut hair.

*sighs*

He did practice on himself first, to show Narah that it didn't hurt to cut hair.
But his bald spot has already grown back in.

This is her three year picture (taken 12 April 2007):

Here are the chunks of hair I found on the floor.

Here is what one of her pigtails looked like:

And here is a really poor camera phone shot (apologies, apologies, I left my camera at my mother-in-law's) of her now shortened hair... her head is tilted down, but yes, her hair is really short now, the gal who fixed it took off a bit over four inches to make it all even...

The agony! People tell me it could've been worse, at least no one was hurt, or that he didn't take off more of her hair, or as I can paraphrase Dr. G, "glad he didn't show him any knives." However, thankful, as I am, it did take about all three years to get to that length!

Some sad notes, my husband's cousin is spotting. Please think of them, it is difficult, all of it, the decision to try, then wait, accept it all, then to lose it all, I do hope that all is well, but it seems that it might not be...

And my goodness, it is already almost the end of May. Where has time gone, I play on the tinniest violin, surely a melody we are all quite familiar about. The children keep us quite busy, but we are adding an addition to our little brood. She is a 12 week old puppy, and she will come home on Friday evening. Got her little kennel set up, collar, leash, dog food, and all that jazz...all we need is a name.

Surgery, baby, name that quilt!

2007-05-19T17:44:00.000-04:00

Big J got through his scar revision surgery on Thursday, and is back to his roaring rowdy self today! So far, it looks great! J was born with a cleft lip, he had his original surgery that first year (2002), and now, it was to make his scar smaller, a little less noticeable...someone asked if he was broken (as a new preschoolmate asked with the original scar), so these last couple of months every once in a while he would ask how he got the scar, was he broken? He will always have the scar, but hopefully it will be small enough that it be not as noticeable...if not, my five year old will be the best swashbucklin' pirate, dinosaur fighter, or lion tamer!

So, since he is on the mend, and it was a sunny day, I gave the boys haircuts today, Appa, Big J, and Aeggi!

Yes, Aeggi!

The Before:

The After:

All of a sudden he looks very grown up to me, and I just can't get over it!
He looks so carefree in the first picture, and in the second, he looks so like,
"Why me mom? Why???"

It is indeed a Saturday, we (kids and I) let Appa sleep in and went to find yard sales. After we mowed the lawn at our C'ville property. Had to work a little today, accomplish something :) At one country place I scored a wonderful find for like $2. She purchased it back in the day for her now 10 yr old, can you name this quilt?

I don't want to resort to tracing it to create a pattern, but I darn will if I have to! But PLEASE!! Don't make me!! Someone, anyone? Know this quilt? Pattern?

I have to leave you with this picture of a strawberry that was in our Sam's purchase:

And my hand ain't small! Gigantasaurus as my son said! Delicious too!

See a movie, save a life

2007-05-14T16:16:00.000-04:00

Stomp Cancer!!

Cursive out the door?

2007-05-02T14:55:00.000-04:00

I never knew that cursive handwriting was so retro!!

I was cruising a popular parenting site, and there was this whole discussion on handwriting, how some parents wish cursive was dropped from the curriculum, that time spent learning cursive can be time better spent learning other things...

Just like recess I suppose.

And the arts.

And music...

I am already supplementing my children's education with music, and the arts, not to mention children who are happy make recess happen anywhere, in the store lines, at the post office, taking the simple walk to the mail box.

Why is America giving up building blocks, the foundations of an education that I received, that my husband received, since it is time better spent learning other things?

We all have our own talents, some are blessed with multiple talents (I for one can't walk and chew gum, you know), but I have to agree with other moms, I cannot stand receiving a thank you note that is printed!

However, I am married to a man whose signature I cannot read!

Hey Ya!

2007-04-25T22:33:00.000-04:00

Go Navy!

glumbert.com - Navy does Hey Ya

Let us mourn with VT

2007-04-20T14:59:00.000-04:00

As stated at Virginia Tech:

Ross Abdallah Alameddine
Christopher James Bishop
Brian Roy Bluhm
Ryan Christopher Clark
Austin Michelle Cloyd
Jocelyne Couture-Nowak
Kevin P. Granata
Matthew Gregory Gwaltney
Caitlin Millar Hammaren
Jeremy Michael Herbstritt
Rachael Elizabeth Hill
Emily Jane Hilscher
Jarrett Lee Lane
Matthew Joseph La Porte
Henry J. Lee
Liviu Librescu
G.V. Loganathan
Partahi Mamora Halomoan Lumbantoruan
Lauren Ashley McCain
Daniel Patrick O'Neil
J. Ortiz-Ortiz
Minal Hiralal Panchal
Daniel Alejandro Perez
Erin Nicole Peterson
Michael Steven Pohle, Jr.
Julia Kathleen Pryde
Mary Karen Read
Reema Joseph Samaha
Waleed Mohamed Shaalan
Leslie Geraldine Sherman
Maxine Shelly Turner
Nicole White

Time passes, but moments of them are always bright...

2007-04-19T18:01:00.000-04:00

Twelve years ago I was a junior in high school attending a Technology Student Association Conference in Oklahoma City. The meeting was coming to an end, my classmates and I were bundled together in a hotel room, and the earth shook.

We made jokes and teased, that some pilot at Tinker just screwed up.

With the change of a channel we learned that the shaking came from an explosion from downtown OKC, and life changed.

The conference ended early, we were given the opportunity to call home and let parents know we were okay.

At fifteen I gave blood for the first time.

Somehow, it has been twelve years, and for a moment, time stood still, and I still remember how the earth shook.

The tragedy at Virginia Tech this past Monday brought back the memories of how being young and feeling invincible is rudely awakened to the reality that shit happens. And even that phrasing does not do justice to how frighteningly horrible that reality was on Monday. My heart mourns for those that died that morning, and their families. Grief shadowing the love of a child, sibling, friend, colleague, husband, father, there are no words to express my sorrow for you, none at all, except that I wish there was a way to help make it better, to remind you to breathe. Hug you when you need it, and stand behind you when you ask.

Friday, 20th April is being called for a National Day of Grief, please, pause, remember.

Seung Hui Cho came to this country at nine years of age. I refuse to place his name in the Eastern sense, as I totally agree with NPR's Korean Names: An Explanation, Cho was only lacking being American by not having a citizenship paper.

To blatantly place his name Cho Seung Hui bothers me, it does, is it easier to accept that this tragedy occured because of his place of birth, that he is truly a foreigner?

He was nine when he moved here, raised here, I think that it is a disservice to ourselves to believe that he is fresh off the boat, call him by the name on his license, Seung Hui Cho.

It is easy in retrospect to place blame, to try to find better solutions, but I am still trying to accept something like this happened. As all of this was unfolding, I was on vacation, watching my children have fun with their father, ride the Jazzy Jellies, try not to cry as an audience gave ovation to military families as part of Seaworld's Salute to Heroes, I admit it. I was on vacation. Trying to relax. But I kept in contact with my family on my cellphone as it unfolded. Where I am lost in VA, this was too close to home.

Our children will always be our children.
I just hope that my children will never have to experience this.

It is Tuesday, or "Hair Yesterday, Gone Tuesday."

2007-04-03T12:12:00.000-04:00

Finally getting some housecleaning, rather, spring cleaning done.
Washed some windows, vacuumed under the stove, behind the fridge.
Got my never ending pile of laundry kind of shrinking, but you know.

It is so very pretty outside.
All I want to do is play.

I have another appointment at the pain specialist today, hopefully they
can help me out a wee bit so that I can be enjoying spinning teacups for
my daughter's upcoming third birthday.

I chopped off some of her hair (about 1.5"-2") last week, not too bad, and she enjoys it shorter.

What a lame intro to hair cutting, but it will have to do as I have to leave soon.

I wanted to donate my hair, however, long hair bothers me, gets in the way, yadda yadda yaddo. BUT I was going to do it. Locks of Love has a 10" minimum. I was thinking it was going to be a very long summer with long hair.

Then, I found Pantene's Beautiful Lengths. They have an 8" minimum. As I was sitting here drafting this blog out earlier, I thought, heck, why not.

Saved this as a draft, and off I went. Now, I am back :)
So, here is the before :

And, here is the after:

I have just under 9" to donate, and it is off in the mail tomorrow as I am off to the doctor today.

Spring!

2007-03-28T22:28:00.000-04:00

I love spring...it is the time to head outside and make sure the fruit trees I planted last year are still alive!

This is one of two peach trees I have that is in bloom! Isn't it pretty? Now I am debating tomorrow if I should go ahead and pollinate because I have seen no bugs, some one's gotta make sure these flowers hook up and get it on!

I also had three cherry trees, two Bing and a weeping cherry willow. Upon closer inspection, only one Bing survived the Japanese beetle infestation we had last year, so tomorrow I am off to Lowe's to find a suitable replacement and get a head start on purchasing the beetle bags. Yeah, yeah, I should've noticed last fall, but there were a few leaves left on it, I honestly thought it would make the winter, but it didn't.

This is what we do to help pass the time...after all, my partner in crime is currently M.I.A.

Basically, the spouse is out of country. Today while we were talking, I told him I was thinking of making kimchi, because I am bored (three kids, big house, numerous loads of laundry, someone needs to sweep, mop, vacuum, but not me, I have physical therapy tomorrow!). He told me he loves sae kimchi (new/fresh kimchi). *sighs* Dutiful wife that I can be, to show my endearing affection for the guy who has been away from home, what do I do?

Gather ingredients.

Of course I am out of everything but the fish sauce. And manul/garlic, what kind of Korean household would this be without garlic? So I haul my tired patootie to the local Asian store (all 1000 sq/ft of it). Got gochu kara. Quickly divert the almost three-year old from having a fit when she realizes her gumballs are out of stock. Load up my tiny umbrella stroller with miscellaneous Korean snacks to make her happy...but alas, no cabbage! Baby starts to wake up from his morning nap as we get back into the minivan and I wonder again "What the hell am I thinking?"

So I head to my favorite produce market. Only 4 cabbages. I buy them all. Go next door to the Oriental market (Another ~1000 sq/ft), they have only one cabbage! So I get that one too!

And begin my endeavor to make kimchi, big girl style, all by myself. And some help from a fellow mama.

After all, I have only "aided" my mother-in-law (she humors me by giving me things to do, keeps me out of her way :) Seriously though, she trusts my taste buds, I know who made what kimchi out of her and her sisters!)

Fun part, giving the cabbage a bath!

While baby took an afternoon nap, sliced moo:

And finally, right before bedtime for the kids:

Finito! Except for my five-year old's commentary:
"Mama, what are you making?" asks J.

"I am making kimchi." I reply in a huff as this is like the
twentieth time he has asked me (he is being good, keeping the baby
away and entertained, I swear though, the questions!).

"Why can't we just go to Halmoni's? She has kimchi. Her kimchi is
good." I have nothing but exasperation for the kid today, he hates being in the car, yet here he is telling me a three-hour car ride is what is needed to solve our problem. And I almost concurred, but once again, it is three hours to Halmoni's, once we get there, how do I know she will have kimchi? If she doesn't, we will just end up buying it together at Han Ah Reum.

I honestly thought about buying it, someone local makes it and sells it at the Asian store, but the local folks who make it put too much oyster for me! I thought about driving to get supplies, stock up on household stuff, annoy my sister-in-law, but three kids, minivan with no dvd player? I don't think so!

At least, I can say I have done it once...I suppose it is time I have started to make my own kimchi, but seriously, tomorrow, I am making a batch of frybread to soothe my NDN taste buds...but fry bread is a family thing. Only what, three-four days left to go, my husband is currently in Masan, I am bored, what do I do? Make kimchi.

After all, what a wonderful world?

What a Wonderful World, performed by David Choi

Blueberry Baby and Chicken

2007-03-19T20:59:00.000-04:00

An old dear friend from way back in the day (Hey! I am allowed to write that, I have THREE CHILDREN) has an online/b-n-m business called Blueberry Baby. After finding her, naturally I placed an order for a wonderful handmade polar bear puzzle, got introduced to Padraig Cottage slippers, and she sent me a wonderful shop shirt. Why am I now just getting to this even though I placed my order way back in November? I got the order quite quick! The kids loved their Christmas stuff! Besides the back issues, the house issues, well, Lil' Peanut finally grew enough and now he is big enough to wear a 12 month shirt and not look goofy! For the life of me, anytime he is wearing it, I cannot get him to smile!

I do recommend Blueberry Baby for the quality of products and expedient shipping. My children have thoroughly loved the polar bear puzzle, and the Padraig slippers? So warm and cozy and adorable, check out Blueberry Baby yourself.

...
NAKED CHICKEN WARNING!
...
what?
...
NAKED CHICKEN!!
...
are you kidding me?
...
well, does a chicken wearing seasonings count as naked?
Sure!
...

So, last fall, I picked up one of these Chick Can Racks, made by Bayou Classics from over at Wally World (the place that eats babies) when they went on clearance. Figured today, what the heck! Too cold to grill, and didn't have any beer, but I had grapefruit soda! Washed the chicken, stuffed the rack up it's butt, and patted it dry. After I rubbed some seasonings on it, heck, it looked stupid and lonely.

So, I went ahead and lined my pan with foil, then drizzled a honey mustard mix on top. The sheen on the chicken is sprayed on olive oil, not only are there carrots, garlic, celery and onion surrounding the carcass, I went ahead and stuffed it with the veggies too.

I had it cook 20 minutes at 400, then went ahead and turned it down to 350 for 20-30 more minutes (heck, I wasn't watching the clock, I was trying to control three children and cook dinner! Pulled the thing out of the oven when it looked done!). No leftovers, what more can I say? I thought that I had undercooked it though it looks quite crusty, but then as I tugged at the leg, it started to fall off. It actually was very tender, very moist, full of flavor! Highly recommend the Bayou ChickCan Rack.

What a week....

2007-03-15T15:08:00.000-04:00

Had spinal shots the other day, so I am now able to sit down and reflect on this last week, and it is only Thursday...

Received some startling news this morning from one of my friend's whose husband had surgery this morning. Prayers and thoughts please for G. he went in for gallbladder surgery, they found a heck of a mess, starting with they say he definitely has Crohn's, removed several biopsies from his stomach, removed like 4 L of water from around his stomach, took out his gallbladder and appendix, the surgeon apparently wanted to to more exploratory work, but G's heast stopped at least four times... he is supposed to be in recovery now, but I haven't heard back from his wife yet, I hope all is well... wishes and prayers for them please...

What a difference between children, hmm? The one on the left is a bad capture with my picture phone, but I think that you will get the gist of it. Those little coveralls my first son, Oppa, he outgrew at 5 months and 2 weeks. On the right is my lil'peanut has just started wearing the same coveralls and he is now 8 months old. Wild. They look similiar but at the same time just wild that D is getting into them.

Plus, some picture of the little tykes from their Gomou's wedding back in January:

Baby D took a nap throughout the whole thing!

...

Isn't Gongju just pretty? Yeah, I cut the other little flower girl out, hahahaha, no, seriously, I don't have her Omma's permission to post her on here.

...

Oppa is a ring boy, Gongju a flower girl, they are a bit stunned by all the hoopla, even though this is their second wedding.

I hate falling! And needles!

2007-03-13T08:44:00.001-04:00

So I have moaned ocassionally about hurting my back, the fun pain, the agony, and the wonderful folks at Spectrum Therapy...

Well...I have fallen and I can't get up!

No...that isn't sensational...and it has been used before.

My MOTHER-IN-LAW pushed me down the stairs!!

Ah! Looks better!! That! That is a tabloid headline!

My Mother-in-law pushed me downt the stairs and now I can't MOVE!!!
She was wielding a puppy at me!!! Threateningly! rest of story on page 7

Seriously, my in-laws came down to visit me on Saturday, took the kids and I out to lunch, got to play with their little doggies too. However, before we left for lunch, my Omma (as I call her) put her dogs in my house. I ran back in to pick the rugs off the floor (little things just piddle everywhere, poop too). Got them up and we got ready to leave. She beckoned for me to leave and she would close the door behind me so that the mutts wouldn't escape.

Well, as she closed the door, BOOM!

Seismatic earthquake. Didn't you feel it? Happened about 12:45 pm in Central Virginia. Epicenter just north of Charlottesville... no? Didn't know?

It was a doozy of an earthquake.

Got the bruise on my left hip to prove it.

Agony of my back too! Whatever I did, I really did a number on myself that just jarred my hips and lower back. Good thing that my pain management appointment starts today, I have waited two weeks to get in, toyed with the idea of even canceling it, after all, I was getting better!!!

Now, I am so ready for relief. And not the Rolaids kind either. I don't even like needles, but spinal shots are part of what might happen today as part of my pain management. I don't like needles. I had an epidural with my first child, I swear that I felt lingering effects for like 6 weeks. I am in so much pain now, give me the epidural!!!

My second child, things progressed to where I didn't get the option of an epidural, and my third child, went into it determined not to get one, after all, did it once, I don't like needles, and so I got through without...but give me one now!!!

I hate not being able to move. Sit and surf the internet. Sit and quilt. Sit and read a book. It hurts more to sit, so I am standing and typing, moaning, after all, my son is supposed to be already at preschool, but that means I have to sit and drive there...

Sitting is not an option right now.

Somebody pamper me (dearest, this means you, I know you read this!).

Sam I Am

2007-02-27T19:33:00.000-05:00

Caught this link from Kimchi Mamas, about a young man, his family, this is their plea for more people to register on the bone marrow registry.

This is reprinted with permission from the "Help Sam I Am" site. Please help by reading this, passing this on, taking action:

"친구 여러분,

샘(Sam)은 급성 백혈병 진단을 겨울방학 (12/22/06) 중에 받았습니다.
아무 증상도 없었는데 우연한 혈액검사로 22세 생일을 일주일 앞두고 진단을 받았습니다.
샘은 하바드대 4학년에 재학중이였으며, 공부뿐 아니라, 펜싱팀의 팀장으로, 테니스 클럽의 멤버로,
또 홈레스 사람들을 위해 봉사자로 열심히 일하고 있었습니다. 항상 다른 사람들을 도와주며 특히
어려운 처지의 어린아이들을 스타이브슨 고등학교 때 부터 가르치며 도와주었습니다.

샘은 이번 6월에 물리학/수학 학사로 졸업후, 박사과정을 밟을 계획이었습니다.
지금 뉴욕 코넬 병원에서 2 차례의 항암 약물치료를 마쳤으나, 골수이식이 꼭 필요한 상태입니다.
샘의 어머니는 한국인이고 아버지는 유럽계이므로 특히 동양인과 유럽인 계통의 골수기증자가
필요합니다. 맞는 골수를 찾는 것이 백인보다 수십 배 어렵습니다. 꼭 샘을 위해서만이 아니고, 샘과 같은 실정의 다른 환자들도 도와주어 생명을 살릴 수 있는 좋은 기회입니다.

도와 줄 수 있는 방법

골수 기증인 프로그램에 등록 하십시오

매일 수천 명의 환자가 샘처럼 맞는 골수 기증자를 찿고 있습니다. 당신이 바로 그 사람일수 있습니다. 생명을 살리는 일입니다. 등록하는 것은 쉽고 무료이며, 통증이 없을뿐더러, 집이나 직장에서 할 수 있으므로 시간소비가 전혀 없습니다.
18-60 세의 건강하신 분, 돕기를 원하시는 분들은 join.marrow.org/cross 또는
www.HelpSamIAm.com 을 사용하세요. 일단 컴퓨터로 등록하시면 작은 소포가 집으로 배달됩니다. 설명서에 따라서 입안을 면봉으로 문질러서 다시 보내십시오.

다른 사람에게 알리십시오.

사람의 생명을 살릴 수 있는 정말 좋은 기회입니다.
주위의 모든 사람들에게 권장하십시오.

진심으로 감사드리며,
샘의 가족 일동.

DEAR FRIENDS,

Sam was diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia on December 2006. He had no symptoms and the diagnosis was made after a routine blood test. Sam was enjoying a full life as a serious student, a captain of the Harvard fencing team, a member of the tennis club team and a regular volunteer at the student-run homeless shelter. In addition to academics and sports, Sam has always taken a lot of interest in helping people, including his work at the shelter and as an active tutor for underprivileged kids since high school.

Sam is on medical leave from Harvard where he was expected to graduate with a Physics/Math degree this June. He finished two rounds of chemotherapy at the New York Presbyterian Hospital. His follow-up treatments will be at Memorial Sloan-Kettering. He will most likely need a bone marrow transplant to increase his chance of being cured from this terrible disease. Sam is part Korean and part Caucasian, and this makes finding a match particularly difficult. The donor registry needs more donors of all ethnic backgrounds, but minority and mixed-background donors are particularly needed. Any donor could be a match for Sam. Of course, we do not expect most donors to help Sam specifically, but there are many other patients like him.

How You Can Help:

JOIN THE NATIONAL MARROW DONOR PROGRAM® (NMDP) REGISTRY.

Every day, thousands of patients just like Sam are searching for a volunteer donor--someone like you--who could save their life. It's easy and painless, and involves only filling out a brief form and taking a simple cheek swab. To join the Registry, you must be 18 to 60, in good health and committed to helping any patient in need. There are several donor drives where you can stop by and register in person. Or you can register at anytime from anywhere online.

We encourage you to contact DKMS Americas, http://dkmsamericas.org or 1-866-340-DKMS (3567) for a donor registration kit. Donation is welcome but not required.

If you are fully or partially of Asian heritage, you can register for free at anytime through www.aadp.org (the Asian American Donor Program) or by calling 1-800-59-DONOR for a free kit.

The registration process is very simple. Once you register online, you will receive a kit in the mail. The kit contains everything you need including kit instructions and the consent form. When you mail back the kit, your tissue is typed and we add your name to the Registry. If you are a match, the NMDP will contact you for further evaluation.

RAISE AWARENESS.

Please share this opportunity to save a life with your friends, family members or associates. Encourage them to join the global movement of more than 10 million volunteers who are committed to giving patients a second chance at life.

OUR FRIENDS.

We are working with the following non-profit organizations to raise awareness and promote bone marrow donor recruitment of all healthy people between 18 to 60 of all backgrounds:

Cammy Lee Leukemia Foundation - http://www.cllf.org

DKMS Americas - http://dkmsamericas.org

The Asian American Donor Program, AADP - http://www.aadp.org

National Marrow Donor Program, NMDP - http://www.marrow.org

We especially urge all Asian and part-Asian friends and colleagues to register as soon as possible. The process takes several weeks and there is no time to lose.

Thank you for your generosity and compassion during this difficult time.

Sincerely,

The Cross/Kim Family"

Almost time for Daylight Savings Time

2007-02-27T15:25:00.000-05:00

*gasp* 11 March will kick off the new daylight saving time!! Am I really ready to spring the clock one hour ahead??? Heck no! I am having issues just living with the time I have now!

Just to think in less than two weeks, The first Monday, I will be getting up at 7 to start the day, but it will really be 8 and I will then realize "SHUCKS" we are late!!!

It will be an adjustment, it will, three kids, I get these periodic moments of what the heck were we thinking... the third child is the only one planned, yet he is the one we often forget, poor third child syndrome....

Lil' D is an awesome baby, he has come into the swing of things quite nicely, and I hope that all three of our children will co-exist wonderfully, and things will be okay...it is hard parenting, wondering if the love your children show each other now will continue on when they are adults... I just don't know but I awfully hope so!

On another note, my physical therapist and I are awaiting xray results of my back : imagine a little hunched over lady in pain, not even vicodine helping and that was my yesterday. I am still in the hunt for answers...

Later more, off to change the stinky diaper!

Mr. Right Meme

2007-02-22T18:18:00.000-05:00

Stole this meme from Mama Duk over at Camian Academy. Her spouse is away, and so is mine, so I thought I would play along....thanks Mama Duk.

If you do this, let me know :)
.......................................

MR. RIGHT

His age: 35 (edited to add: OKAY SORRY DEAREST!!! I am ageing him! He is 34 whoopsies!!!)

How tall is he? 5’8"

How long have you been together (married)? We will be married 9 years in June.

How long did you know each other before you got together? Hm...we met in January 17, 1998 (he says the 18th, different time zones you know), physically spent a week with him, he went out to sea (60 or 70 day patrol, he asked me to marry him in a card he had mailed me, I flew up at the end of July and we were married by 22 August.

What physical features attracted you to him first? I love listening to him talk, our phonebills from that year were astronomical.. and his eyes, love his eyes...

Eye color: Brown

Hair color: Black

How did you meet? In an online chatroom. He came across as an snob.

How serious is it? Totally.

Are you “in love”? Most definitely.

Do your parents like him? I would like to think so, if they don't, they have never said...

Do his parents like you? They seem to now, or at least, I hope they do.

Do you trust him? Yup.

Would you share a toothbrush with him? Have done so, can't help it if he is always losing his when we travel.

Would he let you wear his pants? Yes.

Does he smoke or do drugs? No to drugs, even when he had his tooth redone, but can be swayed by a Cuban cigar.

Do you have a shirt of his that you sleep in? Yes..I do

Do you like the way he smells? When he is gone I sleep in his t-shirts because they smell like him..

Can you picture having kids with him? We have three of them, and are done.

What bothers you the most about him? Hmm...he likes to eat meat...jerky, steak, hamburger...more jerky...and he doesn't read, read as read a book for the pure enjoyment of the story...well, except for Harry Potter...

Does he have a temper? Most definitely... sometimes I like to irk him just to see him exasperated.

Are you happy to be with him? Most definitely!

Does he embarrass you in public? Occasionally in an endearing way, except the last time at his sister's wedding dress rehearsal and he was introducing his side of the family present, HE FORGOT ME!!! THE MOTHER OF HIS THREE CHILDREN!!! WIFE OF ALMOST 9 YEARS....still bothers me a bit, can't you tell??

Does he have any piercings? No.

Does he have any scars that you know of? Yes, a couple...

Is he a party dude or stay at home? Stay at home.

Is he outgoing or shy? Shy.

Does he love his mama? Yes.

Would he hang out with you and your friends? Depends..but for the most part, I think he would

Sing? He is Korean. Need I say more? Or do you need one more word? How about, Karaoke? OK, one more word: Soju. All together He is Korean, drinks soju, and karaoke. That sums it up

..................................

Links of the evening in honor of Valentine's Day

2007-02-12T22:47:00.000-05:00

I don't know about ya'll, but being Native American and figuring out which Korean/Asian foods to feed your child a nutritious diverse meal is tough... this is heart related, after all, need to nourish the soul and the body.

While out skimming the internet this evening for recipe ideas, I came across this:Asian Food Pyramid from New Asian Cuisine website. You click on your country of interest, in my case South Korea, and wham! There you go, suggestions for grains, vegatables, fruits, etc.

They don't have portions, but hey, that's easy enough, right?

I also found an interesting site called: Maria the Korean Bride. Taken from the site, "Maria the Korean Bride contains images and performances of myself dressed in a traditional Korean bride marrying men of all ages, ethnic, religious, and financial backgrounds to whom I have proposed randomly and spontaneously as I traveled cross-country. Ironically these strangers considered eligible bachelors by American standards because they are culturally diverse, educated and "nice" but are unsuitable because they are not from successful higher class Christian Koreans.

Maria the Korean Bride has also been formatted and memorialized as a collector’s set of playing cards representing all 50 states plus Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands. This series of work is also in the collection of the following institutions: Temple University, University of Chicago, Museum of Modern Art, Wellesley College, Haverford College, Scripps College, Smith College, Otis College of Art and Design. " I don't see showings in VA, but look for one near you, it looks to be a show for the girls and for family in general.

And in honor of Valentine's Day, (early because my Valentine is on travel), don't forget gentlemen, at dinner with your sweetheart, to finish off her ricebowl for her!

Summer Running

2007-02-09T17:33:00.000-05:00

I haven't had time to run since the first of November, and since I hurt my back at the first of that lovely month, I am finally starting to feel nimble enough to zip up the stairs of my own house. Bending at the waist to change a diaper would send me into tears, forget sitting on the floor to change it, I couldn't even begin to sit down, not much be able to get back up off floor.

But thanks to the wonderful staff at Spectrum Therapy, I am sitting again, walking, and though I still twinge at bending, I am less gloom and doom during the day as I am in less pain.

Time to lace up the sneakers, I am 28, turning 29 in July, which means I have only a short amount of time left to run my first marathon before I hit 30.

Three years ago, I was living life, walking, waiting to have a baby. After I had her, I learned of a wonderful program called the Women's 4-Miler. I wanted to run again.

And I did. I thought I did well. In my teens I was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. I got married, kept living. Had knee pains at work, told I had "joint mice" and may need to have them taken out, but also found out I was pregnant with my first child. Got past it. They bother me, but hey, I have kids, who has the time to slow down? I suffer from gastroparesis, hey three pregnancies did enough to me that I was throwing up after every meal, now I am not, more of an every so often and current baby is almost seven months old!

Well, with my squeaky knees, now bad back, and swollen hands, my last arthritis test is negative, so keep up with ibuprofen to keep the pain under control, and keep living.

I will. I met a good friend when training for that first race, and participated in a documentary called Summer Running. Scott had a vision, and I believe he fulfilled it, and now he is pushing the boundary even further and higher.

Through that opportunity I met a woman who knows Strength. Love. Fear. Courage. Life.
Christa is amazing, it is moving, inspiring, and amazing how much you can endure, she is truly a survivor.

Now I am asking you to participate by contributing to this by Stomp Cancer! Launch time is coming up soon, contribute by participating, spread the word! Lace up your shoes, invite some friends, and watch a great movie!

It has been only a short time since that first race, I have run a couple of others, but I run mostly on a treadmill, back then at home, then in South Korea, then home again, and now I am heading back to the gym. Hey, I had a third child, I am allowed a little leeway, right? *maniacal laughter*

Life is tough right now, things are in the air as my husband is in the Naval Reserves, and face it, the military is busy now, and so is his current unit. May all those that serve be safe, till they are home with their loved ones on the earth or in the heavens.

I had lost perspective this last month. 2007 will be hard, but living life often is. Life isn't fun without anything written in the margins, it is a struggle when you run out of room in that margin. Sometimes I do wish for that life where I can wake up and be home all day, teaching the children, learning from the children, you know, Betty Crocker-ish, June Cleaver-ish way, cheerful, and it is easy, everyone is always happy, life-lessons learned in an hour.

Life lessons are learned in an hour. Sometimes in a minute. Sometimes in mile.
Time to lace up the sneaks. I may not be running right now, but walking is something often taken for granted. I will walk, then run, and darn it, I will run the Honolulu marathon! If not there, C'ville has a great one enough of its own.

I am SUCH an idiot!

2007-02-05T15:28:00.000-05:00

I blog stupidly.

Just like I drive!

No, seriously though, thank you Carol, but I meant that Harry Potter is coming out the day before my birthday, 21 July! I am an idiot, cannot draw a straight line, write a clean sentence, or as I wrote above, I even drive crookedly!

Cool thing though: I WON a contest over at Kimchi Mamas! How cool!

I won with an entry about my father-in-law :
What a fun idea!

I spend alot of time with my in-laws, even though they live 3 hours away. They are contractors/custom home builders, and had driven down to help us with a property we were renovating.

Appa had driven down first, then Umma, and if you know Umma, "Ball-y Ball-y Ball-y" (Quick Quick Quick). So my father-in-law who was being rushed, quickly washed, and while brushing his teeth grabbed a tube of toothpaste. Normal.

Poor Appa, he hasn't lived with children in awhile, or the "Ball-y" caused him not to take the time to read the tube, but poor Appa, he spent the rest of the morning rinsing and getting the taste of diaper ointment (diaper rash cream) out of his mouth, though he did have whiter smile.

*laughs again* Cracks me up everytime! The kids and I get to see them tomorrow, it is Grandparents Day at my son's preschool, should be lots of fun! They enjoy watching him grow up, and I am glad that our relationship has improved to the point to wherewe can enjoy one another's company, let's face it, I am a Native American girl who married the only son. However, let us remember the laughter and forget the harder times to make more room for the fun stuff.

Plus, life just isn't any fun if you have nothing written in the margins.

I am here gathering more stuff and carting it over to our new home, slowly moving in bit by bit, and getting there ever so slowly.

Sell house, SELL!!

Did I mention?

2007-02-03T14:41:00.000-05:00

Well, it isn't coming on my birthday, but the day before, still, great birthday!!

Another weekend of moving, we still need good vibes of our house to sell soon!!!!

Superbowl Weekend :) Colts VS Bears.... no bets here, but I will say this is the most I have ever heard about, written or audio, about the Superbowl Shuffle.

Question of the Day : How many days do acrylic nails last???

Hello out there!

2007-02-01T09:39:00.000-05:00

Hear that echo? Yes indeed, it is the emptying of my house.
I am here to schlep another load to the new house.
Add us to your thoughts/prayers/juju to get this house sold soon!

Went to my "youngest sis-in-law's" wedding over the weekend. (I am married to the only son who happens to be the oldest.) It was okay, not too bad, food was good, though I didn't get any wedding ttuk/duk.

I am in physical therapy for my back. Be good to your back so it lasts forever, and not leave you crying in pain when you go and change a diaper.

Visited a one-eyed beagle at the shelter on our quest on finding an addition to our family. Still thinking about him, he has some things going for him, age, size, etc, but then again, his age is what is against him. We think he is about seven, but he is such a sweetie I have visited him twice. Everyone likes a puppy, but as I am potty-training my two-year old, no way I am in the mood to do both a dog and a kid, so older dogs are most times more mature in that aspect, and heck, I like older dogs.

I just don't know if I can go through losing another doggie in several years, as we are really not sure about his age...but we are thinking about it.

However, I do know what I am doing for my birthday: reading a good book I hope! Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows comes out this summer! On MY BIRTHDAY!! Now I just need a sitter to come out, so I may go and get my book!

Some sad news

2007-01-09T14:25:00.000-05:00

This time last week we were just getting home from our trip to Oklahoma to visit my folks. It was a working vacation, but we still found some time for kimchi. Yes, I found a small Korean grocer in OKC, stopped there for groceries, kimchi, and was told that my baby looks more Korean than anything else. Very nice people, and I was very happy to pick up some Korean stuff for the spouse while there.

Unfortunately, according to this article, they have lost their father in a robbery at the store.

It was reminiscent of Seoul for me, a little shijong/market shop, with a little restaurant in the back, its smell and chatter tempted me into purchasing more than I was expecting to, but as I said, it was nice finding its little shop there, they are nice folks.

Keep them in your thoughts, and hopefully, the family will find peace, and the perpertrator caught.

New Year!

2007-01-08T17:14:00.000-05:00

*just clickety on picture to see image larger!*
A most Happy New Year!!
We are still busy as ever, but just wanted to pop in and say "yup, still here, just really really busy!"

Elephants

2006-12-19T00:42:00.000-05:00

"I added a comment at Kimchi Mamas, but I wanted to add, yes in America, race is the biggest elephant in the living room.

Now are we looking for the peanuts to lead it outside, have it sit down, or overfeed it so we can all walk on top of it's skin rug?

Personally, it is an elephant that will always be welcome as culturally, we were forced to wear blindfolds to ignore it."

Race is such a sensitive issue, please trod carefully... the elephant has really big feet.

And yes, I emailed Bawbawra about Rosie. Hell no, that wasn't even an apology that was issued.

Have a Happy Tuesday.

Twins, don't you know?

2006-12-12T19:08:00.000-05:00

Well, not really twins, but close enough, click here for D's big brother twin!! Don't you see the resemblance?

Aren't they cute? Don't you just want to reach out into the screen and just pinch their cheeks??

Oh, my, I forgot to blog about Tuesday night/Wednesday morning.

2006-12-07T00:19:00.000-05:00

Did you know my 4 soon to be 5 year old boy likes dinosaurs?
He even pretends to be them.
By running.
In socks.
Said child slides.
Fast.
Hard.
Into a wall.
Nosebleed for 30 minutes, but nose not broken.
Bleed stops with applied pressure and ice.
Next day.
Preschool.
Freedom for mum.
Big Sneeze.
More Blood for 15 more minutes, looks like won't stop.
Walk-in to dr.
No freedom for mum.
But nosebleed miraculously stops right as doc walks in room.
Clotting fine.
Said child is okay as long as:

1)No being pteradon flying into wall
2)doesn't get hit in the nose
3)Doesn't sneeze.

Another parenting moment survived.
Time to bust out the oxyclean for the stains.

Coming up next, my newest obsession: Gingerbread.
Why the hell wasn't I taught to make it well, or at least
into Gingerbread Houses???

Where are they?

2006-12-06T19:55:00.000-05:00

Thinking about the resolution to the James Kim search, as sad and heartbreaking as it is, it had me thinking again about the Red Lake Reservation in Minnesota.

Trisan is 4, his brother Avery is 2. They have been missing since 22 November. Please, copy, paste, email, or forward this posting to help bring these boys home.

Taken from Indian Country.com, "The FBI has established a $20,000 reward for anyone with information that could help determine what happened to the boys.

Tristan is about 3 feet 6 inches and was last seen wearing a dark blue Spiderman jacket with yellow trim, jeans and winter boots. Avery is about 2 feet tall, and was wearing a gray pullover sweat shirt with ''Timberline'' on the front. He was wearing faded jeans and Spiderman tennis shoes.

Anyone with any information is encouraged to call the FBI hotline at (866) 333-4949. The local FBI number is (612) 376-3200 and the Red Lake Police number is (218) 679-3313. "

For more information and pictures of the lost boys, please check out America's Most Wanted on this link.

"Let's Go James"

2006-12-06T17:25:00.000-05:00

"Let's Go James!" has been the rallying cry for a missing Korean father who left on foot to find help for his stranded family. They were on vacation and heading south from Oregon to their California home, they missed an exit on they way to find a B&B to stay the night. Subsequently they tried a shortcut, got stuck, and waited. When the gas ran out, from what I gather from newstories, he left for help.

His wife, Kati Kim, and their two children were found, and we were waiting for the rescue of James Kim. Rescue because a majority of us believed that he would be found alive, I know I did. This afternoon came an update at msnbc.com, "Missing California father found dead" , "James Kim found deceased" at cnet.com, where James worked as an editor, and the family website "jamesandkati.com" is where you can find a comment made by a friend of the Kim family in regards to the heartbreaking news of James Kim's death.

No words can express their sorrow as no words can comfort their grief.
I hope we all hug our children closer tonight, I am so very sorry for their loss.

Please click here for a story msnbc.com did on winter safety.

If you would like to send a note to the Kim family, at the jamesandkati.com site is an email address, and they have an online guestbook as well.

2006-12-05T16:20:00.000-05:00

If I die before you wake

Myspace is funny in a way you find people from a different period in your life, and in the time spent apart you realize that time does pass, everyone ages, and people surprise you.

This video is posted on my highschool bro's myspace page. We attended one of the nation's oldest Indian boarding school, and for our senior year shared a dorm (Go Apache :).

Now he is a recruiter for the Army, not what I thought he would do, but then again, I am not doing what I was hoping to do either.

But as a wife of a former active duty Navy man, who is currently a Naval Reservist, this video made me cry. It has images we have seen, some we haven't, but the words remind me yes, we need faith, and we need to remember that they aren't just soldiers doing what their nation asked of them, but they are someone's family, and as this Christmas approaches, I want to say "Thank you."

Happy Holidays, may we all spend Christmas with our families, if not, then may we always keep those not at home in our prayers and hope that their safe and happy and cared for.

Meme and an album rec

2006-12-04T16:20:00.000-05:00

Thankful
Oo! Oo! My first meme tag! From my friend Carol over at Bokumbop. Here we go, in no particular order ...

10 Shallow Things I'm Grateful For
1. My Blowdryer... I hate it being outside in the frigid air and having wet hair.

2. The afternoon nap. So underrated and it happen less frequently in my household, the house is only quiet when the are asleep.

3. Hershey Kisses with the Cordial Creme.

4. Christian's Pizza

5. Mandarin oranges - or in Korean "kur/gur"... little orange blessings tiny hands can peel all on their own!!!

6. My crockpot. End of day goodness, provided you remembered to turn it on!

7. Bottled Water. As a nursing mother, way easier to stock in a night table, or in a mini-fridge in your laundry room, keeps you hydrated!

8. Gold's Gym and their childcare. I know I haven't been there in a month (hurt back, house renovations) but where else can I pretend to workout *laughter* and have three children in a wonderful learning/play environment?

9. The Korean House. Korean food is involved. Rice, panchen, entree, drinks, etc, etc, etc. Anytime I can eat Korean food out, especially plain ol' jajjammyung/jajjambap for the kids,
well worth it.

10. The baby swing. D really really loves it!!

10 Things I'm Genuinely Grateful For
1. My children all three of them :) .

2. My husband 8 years and going :) in january it will 9 years since we met :).

3. New friends made through motherhood and blogging. Hahaha Carol, I have to take this one too :) Writing is a wonderful therapy, cheaper too, not to mention you don't have to find a sitter, hop in the car, sit in an office and wait....

4. Family, the spouse's and my own.... .

5. a driving license because it gets me out of the house to the coffeeshop, it allows me to be able to show my children the world, *laughs* but being stuck somewhere is not fun!!!

6. A home, a roof, why won't mine sell? I am really grateful for the new one we are moving into, or want to move into as grateful as the one we currently sleep at... but I would like to move into a smaller place!! .

7. would it be cheesy to put car dvd player??? We talk and discuss in the car, but when stuck in traffic, I don't mind listening to "Can we fix it, yes we can!!!" over and over again... and finding old friends, nothing makes you realize how fast time passes as you realize how long it has been since you were all together.

8. having a multicultural family, my children are very innovative children, and have had much exposure, I know if we go somewhere they will travle well, and learn from the experience...

9. Cooking, I love cooking for my growing family, plus they are willing to experiment with me :) Who says you can't play with food .

10. Being alive and realizing blessings are hidden, in the open, or often so small they can be missed, or lately, the just smack you in the back!! .I'm tagging no one :) *thbbppptttt* because I replied so late that it is now almost Christmas!!!

...............

I have to truly recommend an article about a young Lummi woman (American Indian tribe) who sings 10 carols in 10 different languages (one song one language, she does this for 10 songs, my duh explanation moment of the day, I have three children under 5 and rarely have adult interaction!)

She was featured over at NPR, clickety here, and her album is called Jana: American Indian Christmas.

There is a listen button at the top of the article, O Holy Night is hauntingly beautiful.

Boy Meets Book

2006-11-18T15:37:00.000-05:00

Had to share this interesting blog called "Boy Meets Book."
As the mother of two boys, I need all the help I can get!!!

It is off to a slow start, but click here for a list of recommended books for boys.

2006-11-15T17:55:00.000-05:00

Importance of a 5-Point Harness Carseat

Passed on to the husband....if you know someone with a child, please pass this on!

ETA: Just got this in from a Yahoo momma from another Yahoo momma:
> It's a real tragedy that Kyle died, however a top
> tether would NOT
> have saved him. He was simply too young to be in a
> booster. Three
> year old children should still be in harnessed
> seats. Period.
>
> Also there have been some concerns raised by MANY
> technicians and
> instructors about misuse seen in the pictures of the
> children in the
> video.
>
> Seatbelt failure is EXTREMELY rare. Using LATCH is
> NOT a "solution"
> because LATCH anchors can only be used to 40-48 lbs.
> DO NOT use your
> seat past the weight for which it is rated. DO NOT
> use the LATCH
> anchors past the weight for which they are rated.
>
> Please do not pass the video along any futher. From
> what I can see,
> it's encouraging misuse and panic with parents.
>
> The best way to protect your child to keep them
> properly restrained
> in the appropriate car seat for their
> age/height/weight.

Thanks for passing it on, I had no clue top tether's were up to 48 lbs! Though I will add here that the preschool my son attends, there is a mother (I haven't seen her lately) whose 4 yo daughter would ride in the front seat unrestrained of her van. She has been ticketed numerous times, reported numerous times, but last time I saw her, her daughter got in the front seat of her van unbuckled and they drove away.

Before that we were on a school trip, this little girl rode in my minivan, she buckled into a carseat, though she told me she didn't have to, I told her she did if she was riding in my car, that little sentence "I don't have to buckle" sparked a week long discussion with my son about carseats, seat belts and why they were used...

Hug your children, buckle them in, drive responsibly.

3 AM

2006-11-13T03:02:00.000-05:00

I have thrown my back!! Or have done something to it anyways!!!

I was working on the outside of my home (which had it's open house today) and moved 40 bags of stone (those pretty riverstones from Lowe's). As I was leaving my home as the open house started, I bent over to pick up a tissue, and now here I am laying on my back on the floor staring at this screen wondering why the hell I can't find the light button to dim the screen! (BTW: if you know someone looking for a house, I have one to sell!! It really is a wonderful house, wonderful property, but realistically, after Seoul where we lived in 200 sq/ft, we only use two rooms, and I am filling the rest with junk!!!!Email me!)

Now 1200 mgs of ibuprofen later, (two doses), it is better than it was, after all, I now can carry the baby!!! Not to mention the wonderful kindness of my neighbors, who came over when I called, hooked me up in my bedroom with water, the ibuprofen, and carried in my sleeping children for me (I couldn't stand straight, much less carry a glass of water.) Bless ya'll! You know you are getting extra cookies from me this year!!!

But, the children are sick, I am sick, now my back disagrees with the work I am doing and what I definitely need to be doing,(we are selling this house and moving closer to town, this house after Seoul is TOO BIG!!) and with the house we are moving into (woo-hoo! love renovations!)still needs a decent amount of work!!!

Tomorrow (Tuesday) my baby will be four months old (18 weeks). I love his smiles, his laughter, and the little dimple when he smiles... he coos so loudly when his big brother or big sister smiles at him... his tummy time is spent trying to find out how to get onto his back, after all that is the best view for the ceiling fan! Oh how he loves his ceiling fan! It makes him smile and laugh, after all it is SO PRETTY, and it twirls and spins... won't know how big he has grown until his next appointment on Tuesday, but he is pudgy!!

His hands are his favorite toys... D grasps them and turns them, staring at why do they move so?? I haven't taken as many pictures as I should, but I am too busy staring at what you do! Not only you, but your oppa J, he is ready to be five! Five already! When I look at you I remember looking at him at your age, and I fall more in love with all my children! Do you understand that it is wintertime which means that it is holiday season time?? That I am looking for Christmas not only for you but for him and your sister too! I am thinking of making the drive to here in Cumberland since the one for here in NC is sold out.

If we don't make it, it will be okay, but hey, J and N love trains and The Polar Express!!!

This is still a busy week nonetheless, I need to make a stop here to go look at what tile may be in, not to mention I might finally buy that lighting I have been eyeing (watch it be gone!)

Check here for Habitat ReStores for one near you!

And to top it off, this morning at the grocery store! I am finding it hard enough to be nice to my children (DH on travel), but we skipped church this morning since the children were sick, at the grocer's, I switched lines because the one I was in wasn't moving.

There was a Hispanic/Latino girl, who looked to be with her father, there was a language barrier, but the cashier was telling her that her debit card didn't work, and even if used as a credit card, it would still draw through the bank, which had no money as the card was declined.

Everyone was cranky, the cashier, the people behind her, her "father" pulled bills out of his pocket, she was gathering change out of her handbag, all this to purchase some fruits, veggies, baby food and diapers. She ended up putting the diapers back because she didn't have enough money. Of course that took time! After all, the "father" had started to walk out, she had to catch him, he brought the diapers back, and she got what little was left. And it took time. The looks she got! It made me feel so bad that this was all she was trying to buy, and everyone was mad at her, so after I was done, I ran out to my car for some cash, saw her, gave her a twenty (all I had! don't normally carry cash) and told her to buy her baby's diapers! She ran back in! She bought diapers! I saw because I was still unloading my cart and buckling my kids in whilst she made her last purchase.

Thank the Good Lord and my husband :) that we can afford what we need, but dang it people, it was Sunday, couldn't you have helped her out too? It made me feel bad the looks, knowing I have had them too some days, well, more days and more often than I should. This was the best day (even after throwing my back, and no shows at my open house) I have had in a long time, is it the holiday season? The music playing,after all holiday music can be soothing? Or maybe it was a small reminder to me that small things do go a long way.

Well, hopefully I will doze back off to sleep, but a final request, please say a small prayer for my friend's dog, Sugar, who had a rougher night last night than I am today!

Let us just say, it involved a taunting bully neighborhood cat, a chase, she hit something and ripped herself open!! Hugs to her human and to her!! Let's wish her a speedy recovery!!

And how was your weekend?

2006-10-24T21:02:00.000-04:00

Here is my baby! D was 100 days on Sunday, but his halmoni and haraboje threw a party on Saturday, inviting people to drop by the house to eat, so we had his paegil and his cousin's 2nd birthday all at once, and it was great fun!

Paegil happens 100 days since birth, his birthday really since it is also just about conception time as well, a party is thrown, almost as an introduction to family and friends, but basically celebration that baby lived this long :)

So "komapsumnida" to halmoni, haraboje, and the rest of the friends and family.

Is a small glance of one of the party rooms. Haraboje is the one with the really big smile :)

What three men did whilst clean up occurred...oh, they had excuses too! Uncle-to-be on the left was getting sick, uncle in the middle experienced "ghetto" on the way to pick up his daughter's party cake, and D's appa, (holding D by the way), well, let's just say his vasectomy was on Friday :)

That is the weekend wrap up! Sorry no pics of the food (which was very good!) Or of the Paegil ttuk (which was really really good), just too busy eating? Wandering? Chatting? I suppose I oughta leave you with pictures of something, why not tonight's dinner?

America, land of plenty.... plenty of wigs!!!

2006-10-23T09:07:00.000-04:00

My mother sent this to me, and now, with Scott's river otter attacks,
I now can say that we have got it all, including those products for those babies with hair envy.

Thoughts about North Korea

2006-10-19T15:14:00.000-04:00

Earlier in the month, Kimchi Mamas posted about the "North Korea Situation."

They also posted a link here, North Korea- Children of the Secret State.

It breaks C's heart and my heart to watch, and I guess, I wanted to pass the links on...it is 45 minutes, it aired earlier this year, but it gives a viewpoint that makes you want to pause and then run to hold your children, to feel their heartbeats, to see their chubby smiles, hear their hearty laughter...and sneak them extra cookies just because you can...

Also, I wanted to send ya'll in this direction toward Diane Sawyer and ABC's online videos of her in North Korea.

Having had the opportunity to live in Seoul South Korea for six months, Seoul vs Pyongyang frightens me, it spooks me out, and I implore you to spread the word... when have you even ridden a subway where it was absolutely quiet??? No emotions... But there was kindness, a woman with a child on her back offered her seat to Diane, so I ask with kindness that you pass this post on...

Outrage?

2006-10-14T08:00:00.000-04:00

I was reading an article at msnbc, on how Eyeful of breast-feeding mom sparks outrage.....

Am I UPSET????? You betcha!!!!

I breastfeed because I am lazy....I don't even wash dishes (FYI, my spouse does them because he loves me and knows how much I hate to do them).... and I am cheap....I may not use formula, but I do the grocery shopping, formula is EXPENSIVE....

There is absolutely NOTHING sexual about that picture, and actually, I thought it was quite endearing... that look one's child gives whilst you are nursing is just lovely...

The only comment that got me was toward the end of the article when the mom said the breastfeeding of a child should be kept private.... sorry... life moves fast, quickly, with families of multiple children (and I only have 3!) I can't be at home nursing my baby every 2 hours.... nothing NOTHING would get done and accomplished...

Even just yesterday a woman was trying to convince me bottlefeeding was easier...wash and set up your bottles, preload with formula, all one needed to do was add water and you can keep on with whatever you are doing...

Well, with nursing, I just need to sit and nurse... either I knit, or catch up on my reading, nursing my child helps me to take time to sit and REST...

More laters... so frustrating for how everyone states breastfeeding is best... yet no one wants to see it? Is it just a way to keep women in the home?

Why not 2 posts in one day ?

2006-10-11T23:55:00.000-04:00

Well, I can breathe now.

That is why I no longer watch the news, images like that make me lose my breath, and I tend to panic. Hormones? Maybe, after all baby D is now almost 3 months old and he is getting plumper day by day. Memories? Most assuredly, after all, J was still inside me when I was awoken to carnage on my television screen, I did not even know I was carrying our first son, not to mention I really didn't know what time the spouse would make it home that day on 9/11. N, her pregnancy was the least stressful emotionally, but physically, the hardest.

The Yankees have lost their pitcher, a child lost a father, he was someone's son, someone's husband, all I lost was my breath and a few seconds of time... but is it really time lost to remember that day? To reflect on what happened, even though we still don't know the why's?

With sadness I write my condolences...

The thunder is outside my window though I do not see the lightening flashing, it still rattles and startles me, and I pause, looking for lightening...that is how 9/11 is for me, or images of that day, or similar, I pause and look for lightening...

I seek comfort in my children...

On a totally different note, J was born with a cleft lip, and subsequently, his pronunciation of words is not the norm, and quite unique... his hearing can be off when he has a cold. He sings Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, often, and now he is 4, N is 2, she has learned that song from her opa (big brother), and sings it exactly the same way :"Twinkle twinkle little star, oh I wonder what you are, uppa uppa world so high, as a diamond in the sky, twinkle twinkle little star, uppa uppa world so high, how I wonder what you are..."

I love my children and I am grateful they kiss me goodnight....

I can't BREATHE

2006-10-11T15:03:00.000-04:00

A small something, a helicopter or place has crashed into an apartment building on 71st72nd St. in New York City.

They are not sure if it is an accident, the proabability of it is high, but yet the images makes my heart stutter, and I CAN'T BREATHE...

I feel so bad, you can see the East River, but the moving pictures, the flames and smoke, my heart is stuttering and I can't breathe.....

Hopefully no one is home, it is the middle of the day....

prayers...

I don't live in New York City, I hope those souls doing their job today are safe, and that is goes smoothly as it can, as if such words apply...

Hugs on a Sunday

2006-10-08T19:32:00.000-04:00

Free Hugs campaign

I got this link from a gal on my mothering board (thanks M :) and I have to admit that it moved me enough to post it to share :)

And you can click here, if you are a bit rusty, on how to give a hug.

There is such comfort in a hug, an ease that makes your soul feel as if wrapped in a marshmallowy goodness. And then there are those hugs that lift you off your feet and the world is right, the hugs of friends that have not met in years, sibling reunited, the hug of your beloved after time spent apart, not to mention the hug that surrounds you helping squeeze your lungs to breathe and for your heart to keep beating when you have lost a loved one.

Have you been hugged today? Have you given a hug?

Hugs are good.

The scarf that never ends...

2006-10-08T04:07:00.000-04:00

C doesn't dress up, but has on occasion, as he has been known to humor me around Halloween. This year I decided that I would make it easy by letting him be an incognito Hogwart's student. All he needs is the scarf... so I looked around, found a pattern at atypically.knit.

It sounded simple enough, it truly does, and I picked out a lovely blue and grey for the Ravenclaw house, my sweetie is one smart cookie, well :

it is the scarf that never ends, it goes on and on my friend, some knitters started knitting, not knowing what it was, and they'll just keep on knitting it because......this is the scarf that never ends, it goes on and on my friend, some people started knitting it, not knowing what it was, and they'll keep on knitting it because...this is the scarf that never ends, it goes on and on my friend, some people started knitting it, not knowing what it was, and they'll keep on knitting it because...this is the scarf that never ends, it goes on and on my friend, some people started knitting it, not knowing what it was, and they'll keep on knitting it because...this is the scarf that never ends, it goes on and on my friend, some people started knitting it, not knowing what it was, and they'll keep on knitting it because...

and there is no freaking way I will be finish with it before 'alloween. No freaking way.

Sailor Boy Pilot Bread

2006-09-22T15:40:00.000-04:00

My poor husband, C, has no clue what these are. He is decidedly forgiven as I have learned that these a true Alaskan Delicacy.

This seems to be the week of realization that I hail from Alaska too, and yes, I did live there a decent length of time and have great and wonderful memories and friends from there. I just don't like living there, and enough poor experiences to not want to live there again.

Yet, back to the story. Sailor Boy Pilot Bread. I remember my daddy eating them when I was growing up there. It is something that he grew up eating when he was younger. Apparently on some forums, hikers like them too, heck, they last forever, don't get moldy, and I really don't recall them ever going stale. Make great frisbees too. They are this dense, kinda thick round cracker, as I wrote above, and I remember them lasting forever, at least until they were eaten.

My mother was telling me that my father's birthday was coming up.
Yea, I know, just don't know what to get him.

She told me that she wished she knew someone at Mred Freyers (*laughs*, ya'll know who I am writing about) because my father has been asking for these crackers.

He has always asked for them from his siblings, all these years when they ask if he needs anything. But this last couple of months apparently, he has been talking about them again, and it hurts, I know his siblings won't send them, heck, they didn't talk about their mother dying to him. With her passing, he is a bit homesick, and no one to send them, and Sailor Boy is not exactly an item you find available for shipping from gourmet food stores in store or online.

I have some friends, the question is : Do I love my daddy enough to appear nutters and ask them to mail him some crackers for his birthday?

Now, I love my daddy, but to ask for Sailor Boy Pilot Bread???

So I call the company.

They make them for Alaska, however there is a distributor that will ship them to the lower 48, a.k.a. anywhere that is not Alaska or Hawaii, those poor saps who don't know how beautiful it is in Alaska, or those idiots that don't get a gas dividend for living in Alaska. However, with this company there is a $100 minimum for orders not including shipping.

What the heck am I going to do with two cases, roughly 24 boxes of these crackers? These are big boxes of crackers, or at least, I remember them being humongous. I envision them becoming the "new fruitcake."

"Merry Christmas" we say visiting our neighbors with a beautifully wrapped elongated box, gold ribbon and all. They will "ooh and ahhh" thinking by the weight and size, maybe it is a bottle of wine, or even two, isn't that the fun of receiving a gift, what is in the inside, big or small, any gift is generally well received with grace, it when the giver is gone will the giftee open it and find the Big Blue Box with white lettering and a cute little Sailor Boy. Just imagine, work with me, isn't it easy envisioning their faces? The same "What the hell??" look when you saw this title.

I speak into my phone, "Oh I was just hoping for a few boxes."

"Of what ma'am?" the young gentleman replies.

"Of the Sailor Boy Pilot Bread."

"That is the exception." I laugh, and wonder silently why the pilot bread is the exception and I order one case, talk about the shipping and handling, and he asks me a question.

He asks me if I am in Virginia, my father in Oklahoma, what is the Sailor Boy Connection?

So I tell him about my father who was born a villager on an island in the ocean, of how he ended up in Nome. The man interrupts, "How long has it been since he had been back there?" I reply going on or more than 14 years...

"So he just wants something of his youth?"

"No, he has always wanted them, however, this year his mother, my grandmother, just passed away, and it was hard for him, especially since his family really didn't let him know how bad it was for her, they didn't let us know that she died at home, so this year I wanted to get him something he was wanting but not expecting, especially since his family up there I know won't ship him this."

It is quiet on the other end, and I want to say he sniffled, I do, because I was crying. I didn't know how ordering a case of Pilot Bread did it, but it made me cry, because I love my daddy, and my momma for reminding me to get this for him, but stating this story for the guy, it made me cry.

We ended the order by talking about when it would get there, my father's birthday is in October, and hopefully it will get there in time. I thanked him and hung up.

As I related this story to my mother, I didn't let her know I cried while placing it, but she got a tiny bit weepy as I told her what I said while ordering. It is sad thinking about it all over again, and writing about it makes me sad, a bit angry, and a bit older as I realize how much I love my family.

It shouldn't make anyone weepy, this cracker is a small thing. It is something he enjoyed eating, a small thing, really, yet being able to find this company who will ship it to him, for his birthday, I can't wait to see what he thinks of it, and wait for his phone call I know he will make to me when he receives it.

And of course, my own box of crackers in the mail that I can count on my mother and father sending to me.

Who am I?

2006-09-19T05:05:00.000-04:00

"Who am I?" you query???

That was the beginning of an email that I received on myspace earlier today, and they were wondering about whether I had older siblings that went to school from where I graduated, if so, would they know them.

Isn't that just the question of the day? My blog name is my Eskimo name, yet I am a card carrying member of Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma, graduated from one of the oldest Indian Boarding Schools in the nation (google that!) yet, now with my last name (damn marriage, *snickers* honestly, it has been 8 wonderful years, couldn't imagine it with anyone else), I frequently read Kimchi Mamas and Rice Daddies. Those that know me, crazy, huh? Those that don't but went to school where I did, should be able to figure it out! I only know of two Eskimos/Choctaws that graduated from there, one is me, the other my younger brother.

So I wander through everyday with three large elephants in my living room, Eskimo, Choctaw, and Korean, and yes, eating kimchi with fry bread is actually pretty tasty.

Which brings me to something else.

My grandmother passed away, see earlier entry here, I am still at odds about how I feel...still so surreal for me... I just wish I knew more, but there is no way I am living in Alaska again (never say never, that is why I won't say never). Yet, at the same time, I am like "What the hell happened to pushing them off onto the ice floe?"

Harsh, yes, I know, elders are cringing everywhere, and blah, how dare I disrespect my grandmother that way, but hey, no one let my father know she was sick, when he called, no one answered the phone, no answer, no call. When he did call, it was like if he had been calling he would've known she was sick. Well, gee, is it so hard to call a sibling and say that "Mom is dying, pancreatic cancer." Or say, "We checked her out of the hospital, we are taking her home to care for her." When I called the hospital, "Mrs. is doing fine, her family is with her."

Really? Had no clue she died at home until I read the obit in the paper.

However, my father gets a photocopied bill asking for help in paying it, stating, "She was our mother." Why couldn't you remember that when she was alive? I tried sending pictures out, keeping you involved in my family Auntie, yet, when my father called asking for pictures, you told him to come and get them himself.

As I said, what happened to pushing them out on the ice floes?

But I do miss her, my grandmother. My youngest son has her name, and when he cries, my father tells me to not to make his mother cry.

Prayer

2006-09-11T16:29:00.000-04:00

Christ has no body now on earth but yours,
no hands but yours,no feet but yours,
Yours are the eyes through which is to look out
Christ's compassion to the world;
Yours are the feet with which he is to go about
doing good;
Yours are the hands with which he is to bless men now.
~Saint Teresa of Avila

Five years ago at this moment, I was happy to have my husband home, he was calling into the muster call line to report he was home...I had felt such utter joy!

All it took was a moment to remember that so many had lost so much... Sometimes it takes just a child's smile for one to reconnect with faith, or a listening ear, even just a friendly smile from a stranger as you walk on by...

For me, it was this day.... prayers are amazing, they can be answered, even when you think that it hasn't been, that is why there must be belief, right?

A prayer offers such comfort, saying the words can lift weight, can install hope, and offer relief.

I remember reading about this poem five years ago, and it has stayed with me,and I admit it, sometimes I forget. I am not as faithful as I could have been. But I pray to find patience (hey, I am a mother of three!), hope, faith, and even to remember He loves me.

Am I Catholic, no, but I have a belief I will spend my lifetime, questioning, wondering,educating myself that there is something out there bigger...will I get answers?
Who knows?

This was prayer was once posted in the honor of those working, searching, hoping....

I post it here again, in thanks.... no matter what religion we are, face it, many contradict each other, but that day, we all remembered that life is precious, we all hoped that for many it wasn't cut short, and if it was, that you were called to your Home...

Many are still searching for answers, may you find peace with your search...

and I leave you with a poem of my own:

may today we pause and remember,
seeing the imagery floating
in slow motion,
while the sounds explode in our ears,
may the pain be remembered
so we never forget,
let our hearts be comforted
as the tears that are cried for that day
leave a salty taste on our lips...
while we inhale the sweetness within the air